Who Are The Least Influential Leaders Of 2015?
It was a good year for statesmen and stateswomen. Angela Merkel displayed exemplary leadership guiding Europe through two different crises. Barack Obama reached out to Iran and Cuba to melt the ice. Pope Francis played a key role in bringing Cuba in from the cold but also challenged the world to do something on Climate Change. Xi Jinping weathered an economic downturn and Narendra Modi went on a speaking/concert tour that Bono would be proud of. Even Francois Hollande of France (known more for his mistresses than his leadership before this year) guided France through two horrifying terror attacks and capped the year off with a climate change agreement.
But not all leaders left their mark on our lives. Some laboriously took aim only to dramatically miss. Others just “meh”ed their way into oblivion. We didn’t want the year to end without commemorating their lack of accomplishments.
So here you are, the least influential people of 2015:
Number 9/10: Alexis Tsipras (Greek PM)/Yanis Varoufakis (former Greek Finance Minister)
This dynamic duo started the year off on a high, and it quickly spiralled downhill from there. The two took over the Greek government in January promising to reverse years of humiliating austerity and a crippling debt load. Needless to say, it didn’t go as planned. After months of displaying unnecessary grandstanding, confusing referendums and a horrendous sense of fashion the two eventually capitulated and continued down the same path set by their predecessors (except a lot worse).
Number 8: Elizabeth Warren – US Senator from Massachusetts
The Massachusetts Senator was expected to be the “Kingmaker” in the race for the 2016 Democratic Presidential nomination. She didn’t run but was widely seen as a left leaning anchor for those that do run, threatening to bolster Democratic Socialist Bernie Sanders in his attempt to knock HIllary Clinton off her pedestal. Instead she receded into the back rooms of the Democratic party, acquiring a “pinocchio award” for making false claims, and Hillary’s campaign gained steam. Her “virtual candidacy” as the New Yorker called it, so far, amounted to nought.
Number 7: John Boehner – Former US Speaker of the House
Former Speaker of the House John Boehner had a mixed bag this year. On one hand, he fulfilled his quest to bring the Pope to speak on Capitol Hill (brought him to tears… again). On the other hand, an insurrection from within his own party forced him to resign as speaker (a motion to dismiss the speaker was used for the first time in 105 years). It wasn’t just Boehner that wasn’t influential this year, moderate Republicans have been losing ground to the “Freedom Caucus” over the past few years.
Number 6: Tony Abbott – Former Australian PM and “suppository” of all wisdom
Former Australian Prime Minister Tony Abbott was so disliked by the Australian people that his own party kicked him out. Malcolm Turnbull engineered a coup within the liberal party (who are actually conservative) and assumed the post of PM. Malcolm thought that the party had a better chance to win the elections if it was seen to be in disarray with a new, untested leader than to have the onion-eating, immigrant-bashing, wanna-be macho man known as Tony Abbott in charge.. Sh*t happens mate!
Number 5: Marissa Mayer – Current CEO of Yahoo!
When Marissa Mayer assumed the post of CEO of Yahoo! (that internet company that no one is sure what it does) in 2012 there was a lot of hope that she could turn the core business around. Fast forward three and a half years and… well, we aren’t as hopeful. While Yahoo’s stock price has more than doubled during her tenure it’s mainly been driven by the price of Alibaba (China’s E-bay). Earlier this month when the Board figured out that they would have to pay taxes if they sold their Alibaba shares they took a look at the core business Mayer was supposed to turnaround and went “meh” that is worthless, let’s spin-off that. Quite a vote of confidence.
Number 4: Jacob Zuma – President of South Africa
It’s been an awful year for the polygamous South African President. Aside from trying to sue artists who mocked him (first sign of a healthy democracy), the South African currency collapsed and then….wait for it…he fired the widely respected Finance Minister (no one knows why), appointed a rando, got yelled at so appointed someone else all within a week. He’s also been accused of covering up some (ahem) repairs on his home at public expense and invited Hamas (the terror group and not the delicious Middle Eastern spread) for tea. Oh…and Twitter has a special hashtag calling for his resignation.
Number 3: Dilma Rousseff – President of Brazil
Brazilian President Dilma Rousseff won a hotly contested Presidential race at the end of last year and probably wishes she had lost. At some point in the last year her popularity numbers dipped below 10% (broccoli has a higher approval rating than that). Operation Lava Jato (aka Car Wash), an investigation into a bribery scandal at PetroBras, Brazil’s state owned oil company, has implicated a number of her deputies and the speaker of the Lower House of Congress (her frenemy). She also presides over the worst economic contraction since the Great Depression and to cap it all off faces impeachment proceedings… At this point the country would be run better if it didn’t have a Commander-in-Chief.
Number 2: Ed Miliband – Former British Labour Leader…loves a good sandwich
The UK held a General Election in May 2015 where it was widely expected that the opposition Labour Party would be the largest party and form a government. Problem was they had a leader with terrible poll personal ratings, an inability to eat a bacon sandwich (think de Blasio’s pizza “forkgate” incident but worse), who had a talent for answering any question with the same answer and who promised that he was going to plant a 10 foot stone in Downing Street. Poor Milli, but it’s no wonder they lost the election.
Number 1: Jeb! – Former Florida Governor, Republican Presidential contender and another Bush (People’s Choice Award).
Jeb Bush… America’s middle child. It’s been a tough year for Jeb!, who entered the 2016 presidential race as the favorite for the Republican nomination. He immediately came face to face with Tornado Trump who chided him for having “low energy” and replayed a clip of his mom saying she didn’t want “another Bush in the White House.” It didn’t help that at every occasion he gave off the aura of wanting to be doing anything else (“really cool hobbies”) but run for President and that his campaign ads made you cringe in awkwardness (“Macbook Pro baby”). Don’t worry Jeb!, it will be over soon, once Super Tuesday passes (75 more days) you can respectfully resign. Congratulations on this most illustrious award.
