PNUT GALLERY
The award for best weekend goes to LucasFilms whose latest Star Wars movie (episode XIVWTF) broke box office records with $238 million in sales. The award for worst weekend goes to Sepp Blatter who got banned from soccer (football) for eight years by FIFA.
IN A NUTSHELL: MUST READ
#pnut4prez: Democrats, Jealous Of Republicans, Also Hold Debate
The lead up: Bernie sues the Democratic National Convention (DNC)
Bernie Sanders opened the Democratic debate on Saturday with an apology to Hillary Clinton, though it took some prodding on the moderator’s behalf to wrangle an “I’m sorry” out of him. Apologizing for what you might ask? A Sanders campaign aide (who was fired) seized information revealing a segment of Clinton’s voter database which he had mistakenly received access to by the DNC.
The DNC quickly cut off Sanders’ access to its 50-state voter files (this is huge), prompting Sanders to sue the DNC and accuse the organization of helping the Secretary. Both Sanders and the Secretary agreed upon an independent investigation and the DNC renewed access to the Sanders campaign. The debacle culminated in Clinton accepting the Senator’s apology and asking to move onto more substantive topics.
Second: the actual debate
The third and final Democratic debate of the 2015 primary season was complete with tons of policy and some swipes at Donald Trump. Clinton came out ahead, seeking to unite the party, while Sanders seemed a little hot-headed (likely still peeved about the DNC debacle) and O’Malley taking every opportunity to dig Clinton. Some highlights: - On taxes: Clinton made a pledge not to raise taxes on the middle class, while Sanders backed his plan to implement a 0.2% payroll tax to support his paid family leave program and accused Clinton of being out of sync with the Democratic party.
- On corporate America: When asked if corporate America would like Hillary, she coyly responded “everybody should,” while Sanders responded that corporate America certainly won’t like him and “Wall Street will like [him] even less.”
- On ISIS: Clinton and Sanders sparred yet again, with the Secretary in favor of going after both Assad and ISIS and Sanders saying ISIS should be priority number one.
- On Trump: Clinton said Trump is “becoming ISIS’s best recruiter,” while O’Malley said “[we] must never surrender our American values to racists, must never surrender them to the fascist pleas of billionaires with big mouths.”
- On Star Wars: Clinton closed with an ode to the classic with the line “may the force be with you.”
*Note to debate organizers: make the men’s and women’s bathrooms equidistant to the stage.
NUTS AND BOLTS: SHOULD READ
Spain To join List Of Dysfunctional European Governments
Spanish elections produced a divided parliament and a loss to the ruling, pro-austerity, centre-right Popular Party (PP). Although they won the largest number of seats in parliament, they fell far short of the majority needed to rule. The Socialists (PSOE) had their worst showing in history and the two-year-old, far-left Podemos (“We Can”), headed by the non-tie wearing Pablo Iglesias (no relation to Enrique) came in a close third place. The election destroyed Spain’s two-party system and will make it very difficult to produce a governing coalition. Smart money is on new elections soon.
Passengers Pull Worst Prank On Plane Ever A fake bomb found in the bathroom of an Air France flight between Mauritius (a tropical paradise) and Paris forced the plane to divert to Kenya for an emergency landing. Experts analyzed the package and found that it contained no explosives but determined that whomever played the prank was “stupid.” Four passengers were detained for questioning. France is on edge ever since the Paris attacks, which left 130 people dead.
Ukraine To Russia: ‘Let Me Tell You What You Can Do With That Debt’
Like an ex that owes you money after a breakup Ukraine decided it wouldn’t pay Russia back for a $3 billion loan that was partly due yesterday. Relations between the two countries have been sour ever since protesters pushed out the Pro-Russian President in 2014 and Russia decided to annex a part of Ukraine in response. The timing for the default couldn’t have been worse as Ukraine will need Russia to provide it with gas to keep its people warm through the winter…
Syrian Civil War Found A Way To Be Even More Unstable To Region
The death of a senior Hezbollah (Lebanese Shiite terror group that backs Syrian President Assad) militant in Syria by a suspected (but neither confirmed nor denied) Israeli airstrike threatened to widen the five-year Syrian Civil War. Hezbollah blamed Israel (who had released the militant in a 2008 prisoner swap) for the attack and fire was exchanged across the Lebanon-Israeli border… what a way to end the year.
Keeping Our Eye On…
- China: China yelled at the US over the weekend in response to a US B-52 bomber flying over one of the disputed Spratly Islands in the South China sea. China called the act “serious provocation.” Sounds scary.
- Oil: Reached it’s lowest point since 2004 earlier today with Brent coming close to $35. Meanwhile, the Russians said they wouldn’t cut production unless it reaches $0… You gotta love the Oil Wars!
- Slovenia: Voters in Slovenia repealed a same-sex marriage law with an overwhelming majority. The result rolls back LGBT rights in the Balkan nation.
LOOSE NUTS: FOR YOUR ENTERTAINMENT Oi America, Brits Actually Have Phenomenal Teeth! A new report suggests that, contrary to Austin Powers, Brits don’t have bad dental health. The US (including the Simpsons) often view Brits as having terrible teeth. Even in Mexico bad teeth are referred to as ‘ dientes ingles‘. The research shows that Brits actual have better dental health than Americans with fewer missing teeth. This research will hopefully combat the years of dental prejudice that Brits have faced around the world. Groovy, baby! Meanwhile, we have a dentist appointment to go to… | 
