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Happy Monday Pnutters. We missed you. Now that you’ve survived Winter Storm Jonas tell us who you want to win the 2016 election.…

IN A NUTSHELL: MUST READ

Snowmageddon, Snowzilla, SnOHMYGOD! You would have seen, either from looking out the window or from your friends’ endless snow angel Instagram posts, that the eastern United States was hit by Winter Storm Jonas over the weekend. Washington and NYC faced record snowfall, travel virtually ground to a halt and the blizzard led to at least 25 fatalities. The storm (which was visible from space) even brought out Aerosmith’s lead singer, Steven Tyler, to offer some slightly alternative survival advice.
SNOWY READ: Latest Winter Storm Updates
Arab Spring: Five Years On… Not So ‘Springy’
Five years after protestors captured Egypt’s Tahrir square in a hopeful moment for Arab democracy the results seem unequivocally negative. Tunisia, the success story of the Arab Spring, was gripped by deadly protests over the weekend as many of the initial causes of the Arab Spring remain unsolved. The Egyptian government conducted a widespread crackdown ahead of the five year anniversary and Syria, Libya and Yemen have all devolved into failed states.  

What does this mean?With the Middle East in flames there is little appetite for popular uprisings. Most Arabs are confronted with the choice between “security and repression” vs. “chaos and repression” meaning that there is no chance that the Arab world will shift to full fledged democracies anytime soon (outside of Tunisia).

NUTS AND BOLTS: SHOULD READ

#pnut4prez: Bloomberg To Run For White House?Just when you thought this presidential election wasn’t crazy enough former New York mayor and self-made billionaire Michael Bloomberg might throw his hat into the ring. Bloomberg, who would run as an independent, may declare his candidacy if it comes down to a Bernie vs. Trump showdown. A Bloomberg ticket would appeal to Hillary and Jeb Bush supporters (aka the center) but history isn’t on his side (no independent candidate has ever won the White House).

GOOD READ: How Trump Would Defeat Hillary.

Italians March For Equal Rights Thousands of people marched across Italy to demand equal rights for same-sex couples. The protests come months after a ruling by the European Court of Human Rights that ruled Italy was in “breach of human rights” due to restrictions on adoption, tax breaks and pension benefits. Opponents of equal rights to same sex couples will hold a counter-protest next week. Italy is currently the only country in Western Europe that does not recognize civil unions or gay marriage. 

Non-Stop To Tehran PleaseIn further signs of (probably inflated) post nuclear deal expectations, Iran Air CEO has announced that they are looking into direct flights between Tehran and New York. The flights were suspended after the Islamic Revolution of 1979. Iran also said it would explore buying ~100 new planes from US plane manufacturer Boeing following discussions to buy 114 new planes from Airbus. Looks like they are gearing up to be the world’s hottest new tourist destination. 

Keeping Our Eye On…

• What A Dope: Adidas ended its sponsorship deal with athletic body IAAF four years ahead of schedule following a widespread doping scandal (the FIFA of sprinting). 
• Super Bowl 50: The Denver Broncos and the Carolina Panthers both advanced to Super Bowl 50 after winning their playoff games. Cancel all plans on February 7 to watch the biggest sporting event in the world (actually just America).
• Syria: Government forces re-captured a key town with the help of Russian airstrikes and Hizbollah “advisors.” The government has been steadily gaining ground since Putin came to the rescue late last year. 
• Portugal: A centre-right law professor, Marcelo Rebelo de Sousa, emerged as the winner of the Portuguese presidential election (a ceremonial position). He will have to deal with the Socialist, Communist and radical Left Bloc coalition which currently runs the country. Fun fun fun.
• Tut Tut Tut: It isn’t just hipsters who get mad when you shave your beard. Egyptian Museum officials referred eight staff members to the police for accidentally knocking off King Tut’s beard and sticking it back on with super glue… no, really.

LOOSE NUTS: FOR YOUR ENJOYMENT

Saudi Cleric Bans Chess (No We Aren’t Kidding) Stand back people because the Middle East is about to enter an era of unbounded prosperity, a renaissance if you will. The top Saudi cleric issued a fatwa (religious edict) forbidding chess saying it was the “work of the Devil” and wasted people’s time (wait until he finds out about candy crush). The head of the Saudi Chess association defended the game on Twitter. One would think that with the Middle East falling apart this cleric would be focused on more pressing matters…    

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