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IN A NUTSHELL: MUST READ

#pnut4prez: “Well, It Ain’t Henry Kissinger!” The Democrats squared off in another debate last night that felt a little familiar. Debates are typically scheduled this early on with more candidates in mind, and it seems as though Clinton and Sanders have run out of new material. Both candidates recycled some of their better lines from previous debates. Bernie reminded us that corrupt bankers were never punished, while Hillary repeated her mic-drop moment from the last debate, saying, “a vote in 2002 is not a plan to defeat ISIS in 2016.”

Hillary Clinton is fresh off a loss from the New Hampshire primary, so she needed this win. She went after Sanders’ lack of details, arguing that his plans for healthcare and education reform do not consider the budget. She also grilled him on his inability to name a single foreign policy advisor, to which Sanders responded, “Well, it ain’t Henry Kissinger. That’s for sure.” 

Bernie Sanders went after the usual suspects (banks, super PACs, hairbrushes) but centered his foreign policy plan on what he wouldn’t do in the Middle East. After a lengthy PSA on the dangers of regime-changing, which probably forced many of his millennial fans to Google “Mosaddegh,” he linked power vacuums to the formation of ISIS.

This was the sixth debate for the Democrats, and it was a little dry, even for PBS. The questions felt redundant, allowing the candidates to turn their better one-liners into catchphrases. One can only hope that “it ain’t Henry Kissinger!” catches on. 
Syria: Ceasefire Or John Kerry Dreaming Again?
John Kerry announced that world powers agreed to a nationwide ceasefire in Syria. The ceasefire, if effective, would bring much needed relief to civilians tired after five years of fighting and allow aid agencies to deliver food and humanitarian supplies. The ceasefire starts in a week, which gives time for Russian and Syrian government forces to continue their offensive in the northern city of Aleppo. It also doesn’t apply to terrorist groups like al-Nusra and ISIS — the two most powerful rebel groups in the country.

No Syrians were present at the talks… sign of a doomed ceasefire, or an indication of how this civil war was really just a proxy war… or both? 

NUTS AND BOLTS: SHOULD READ

NATO: We Should Probably Do Something About This Refugee Crisis It took a few months (years), but NATO finally decided to step in to help solve the refugee crisis. The alliance, which has been suffering from an identity crisis ever since 1989, will send warships to monitor the waters between Turkey (NATO member) and Greece (also, NATO member) in an effort to combat human trafficking and stem the flow of refugees. 

Oregon: Standoff Ends After Wasting Everyone’s Time A 41-day standoff in rural Oregon between an armed militia and the US government finally ended yesterday after the last remaining militia member decided he was done wasting everyone’s time and surrendered to the FBI. The standoff lost steam after the FBI arrested the militia’s leaders, killing one of them in an ensuing shootout. Honestly, we were amazed at the federal government’s patience at dealing with an armed militia taking over government buildings. 

Einstein On Gravitational Waves: I’ve Been Telling You This For 100 Years
Yesterday a group of scientists out of MIT-Caltech confirmed the existence of “gravitational waves” â€” a phenomenon first predicted by Albert Einstein about 100 years ago. Gravitational waves are essentially ripples in the fabric of space-time (we think?) caused by huge events, in this case the collision of two black holes. Detecting them requires the use of laser beams and long tunnels. Fun fact: an inside source told us that the effort to find these waves was hindered by alligators and the occasional drunk driver crashing into these tunnels. 

GOOD VIDEO: What Is A Gravitational Wave As Narrated By Brian Greene
Keeping Our Eye On…

• Mexico: A gang fight in a Mexican prison spiraled into a deadly riot that killed 49 people. The fight started when one gang tried to challenge an older gang’s control of the prison. Ironic how prisons can be so lawless.
• Markets: Global markets had a terrible day yesterday with falls in the US, Europe and Japan over fears of weaknesses in the global economy.
• Boko Haram: As if they couldn’t get any worse now the terrorist organization is increasingly using women and girls as suicide bombers. This became abundantly clear this week when they sent three girls into a refugee camp as suicide bombers, resulting in 58 deaths and 78 more wounded.

LOOSE NUTS: FOR YOUR ENJOYMENT

Absence Of Letter Creates Identity Crisis  During a heated debate on the two-state solution in the Israeli Knesset, MK Anat Berko suggested that Palestine couldn’t exist because there was no “P” in Arabic. The remarks prompted Meretz MK Tamar Zandberg to ask if she was an idiot. Turns out Arabs pronounce Palestine with the “ph” sound, which does exist in the Arabic language, bringing everyone back to the drawing board.

Weekend Reads: 

• “What Sex Means For World Peace” (via Foreign Policy)
• “Love Is Like Cocaine” (via Nautilus)
• “How Putin Created A Monster In Chechnya” (via Politico)
• “The Head Scarf, Modern Turkey, And Me” (via The New Yorker)
• The World’s First Snapchat Resume (via Muse)
• Facebook’s Secret Sauce (via Business Insider)

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