PNUT GALLERY

Nancy Reagan’s journey from Hollywood to the White House is an all-American ballad. Her infamous catchphrase, off-screen romance and controversial influence in the White House have all contributed to her legend. Read an obituary for the former First Lady here.

IN A NUTSHELL: MUST READ

Brazil: Take The Former President To The Carwash! Brazil’s former President Lula (the man who put the B in BRICS) was briefly arrested, over the weekend as part of “Operation Carwash” — a corruption investigation focused on the state-owned oil company Petrobras. Police allege that the Leftist leader received kickbacks during his time as President.

Lula’s arrest increases tensions in the country, where sitting President and Lula protege, Dilma Rousseff, faces impeachment proceedings and the threat of an indictment over corruption for her role as Chair of Petrobras during the scandal. Meanwhile, the country is in the midst of its worst recession since the Great Depression.
#pnut4prez: Look Ma, No Hands (At The #DemDebate) While Secretary Hillary Clinton maintains a lead in delegates, Senator Bernie Sanders was able to secure Kansas, Nebraska and Maine over the weekend, proving that it’s still anybody’s nomination. With the Democratic race being too close to call, both candidates were forced to bring their A-game to last night’s debate. Not only did Clinton and Sanders spar over gun control and voting history, but the pair also answered some of their most challenging questions from residents of Flint and Detroit, Michigan. The debate kicked off with a discussion on Flint’s water crisis, setting the tone for the rest of the evening. The candidates delved into education, poverty, systemic racism and gun control, but forgot to tackle the big questions: no one person talked about the size of their hands. 

NUTS AND BOLTS: SHOULD READ

China: Look, We Are Growing, Stop ComplainingThe Chinese Communist Party (CCP) issued a revised growth forecast of 6.5 to 7% for the upcoming year. The forecast, set below the usual magic number of 7%, (above which people are supposedly satisfied) acknowledges that China might have a few “difficulties” in keeping the economy chugging along. China is facing an economic “slowdown” and a barely contained financial crisis.  

PNUT READ: Our Summary Of China’s Economic Slowdown  

Turkish Gov Seizes Newspaper And Headlines Feel A Little… Biased“This Just In: Turkish President Erdogan Is Actually Great And He Didn’t Tell Us To Write This” might as well be the latest headline of Zaman, the once oppositional newspaper that has now been seized by the Turkish government. News of the takeover incited protests that were soon met with riot police using teargas and plastic bullets. While the international community watches this grim betrayal of press freedom, the “new and improved” Zaman published its first newspaper since the takeover this weekend, surprising no one with its pro-government coverage. 

Slovakia’s Far Right Now Has A Few Seats At The TableAlthough Prime Minister Robert Fico won in the parliamentary elections, he’ll soon be contending with Slovakia’s extreme right wing, which has also managed to gain a few seats for the first time since its founding. The People’s Party—Our Slovakia (that’s one name) led by Marian Kotleba is more than just a poorly named political group. (Seriously, couldn’t they have picked one or the other?) The People’s Party—Our Slovakia is known mostly for organizing marches against the the Roma minority and their unnerving fashion sense. Kotleba is a former Neo-Nazi whose prior political party, “Slovak Brotherhood” was disbanded in 2006 for spreading hatred. Kotleba has since updated his wardrobe and founded the new group, but many fear that his earlier political leanings remain. 

Keeping Our Eye On…

• Marco Rubio: He actually won something! After being told by his Republican frenemies to drop out of the race, he won the GOP primary in Puerto Rico. Of course, he was the only Republican candidate to campaign in the US territory. 
• North Korea: Kim Jong Un announced a “preemptive and offensive nuclear strike” in response to joint drills by the US and South Korea to begin today.
• Iran: Iranian billionaire Babak Zanjani was sentenced to death for corruption. Zanjani had once played a key role in helping Iran get around sanctions to sell oil abroad, but was arrested in December 2013 and convicted of embezzlement. His lawyers are expected to appeal the verdict, which they feel is politically motivated.

LOOSE NUTS: FOR YOUR ENJOYMENT

Diplomats Owe New York City $16 Million In Unpaid Parking Tickets Diplomats, they’re just like us! They, too, run outside to their cars just as the cop slides a parking violation ticket under their windshield wiper, pleading in vain that “I was only away from the vehicle for a second!” Well there is no better way to get people to pay up than with public shaming. This map tells you which countries’ diplomats are the worst offenders. Major props to Egypt for never putting a dent in their $1.9 million in outstanding parking tickets.