PNUT GALLERY

A series of explosions in Brussels hit the airport and a subway station killing at least 13 people. The attack may be linked to the arrest of a key Paris Attack suspect over the weekend. Authorities think subsequent attacks are likely and will likely place the city under lockdown.

This is a developing story, you can follow along with the BBC here. 

IN A NUTSHELL: MUST READ

Obama And Castro Forever Linked By Awkward HandshakeWhat was supposed to be an historic moment between US President Obama and Cuban President Raul Castro unfortunately fell limp. Just moments after the leaders held a press conference, the new friends realized they hadn’t perfected their secret handshake yet. Castro decided to wing it and held up a confused Obama’s (limp) arm in the air for seconds that felt like hours, somewhat resembling the way a referee announces a winner. Sure, history was made as Castro urged Obama to end the trade embargo and return the Guantanamo base to Cuba, but who will forget that handshake? One has to worry if POTUS hurt his wrist mending the two countries’ relationship like that. 
AIPAC’s Policy Conference Turns Into Awkward PanderfestAnd speaking of awkward, grab the popcorn, because this episode of The Bachelor was hilarious. Democratic frontrunner Hillary Clinton, along with GOP candidate hopefuls Donald Trump, Ted Cruz and John Kasich joined AIPAC’s policy conference with as much tact in speechwriting as a grade-school love letter. While this could have been an opportunity for Trump and his opponents to offer a nuanced foreign policy strategy, most of the day was a competition over who loved Israel the most and who loved Iran the least. Ironically, while Bernie Sanders was noticeably absent from the event, he won the Democrats Abroad primary among Americans living in Israel.

PNUT READ: Our Guide to the US Elections

NUTS AND BOLTS: SHOULD READ

Apple Has A New iPhone For Tiny HandsDonald Trump can rejoice! His tiny hands will feel powerful while commanding the new iPhone SE. Apple unveiled the smaller, 5S-inspired design at their event today in Cupertino. The four-incher still has all the camera and video capabilities of its larger predecessor, but for a shortened starting price of $399. While CEO Tim Cook used the opportunity to say he won’t back down from his fight with the FBI, the government seems to be taking matters into its own tiny hands claiming it can hack a phone without Apple’s help. 

Iain Duncan Smith’s Resignation Sends Tories Into TerrorUK Prime Minister David Cameron is trying to pick up the pieces after beloved resumé bard Iain Duncan Smith resigned as Secretary of State for Work and Pensions. While he claimed to have quit over planned cuts to disability benefits, the abrupt and scathing ministerial resignation has left the Conservative Party confused and angry, with many questioning his motives. MP Nadine Dorries took to Twitter to say that IDS personally “begged” her to vote for the cuts. Despite a divided party this weekend, former Tory leader Lord Howard urged MPs to remain British and “calm down.”

Starwood Announces It Will Go With Marriott After AllAfter a week that can only be described as an emotional roller coaster for management consultants concerned about their Starwood Points, SPG announced it would accept a “sweetened” offer (so… more money) from Marriott instead of a bid from a Chinese suitor. It’s unclear if the bidding war was in the hotel group’s best interest, but Marriott promises to keep your points intact.

Keeping Our Eye On…

• Mali: Gunmen attacked the European Union’s military mission in Bamako, Mali. While no EU personnel were injured during the raid, armed forces confirm that at least one of the attackers was killed.   
• Sir Paul: Paul McCartney aka “the cute one” has filed a claim with the US copyright office to take back the publishing rights of The Beatles catalogue. You might even say he’s telling his songs to “get back to where you once belonged.” 
• Congo: The International Criminal Court has found former Congolese Vice President Jean-Pierre Bemba guilty of war crimes committed in Central African Republic over a decade ago. The charges stem from his private army’s involvement in the CAR’s civil war. 

LOOSE NUTS: FOR YOUR ENJOYMENT

Europe’s Largest Marine Park Is Accused Of Jerking Off Dolphins A criminal complaint has been filed against Aspro Park Dolfinarium Harderwijk â€” Netherlands’ SeaWorld — after a Dutch TV show called RamBam aired footage of a male trainer masturbating a male dolphin. Aspro Park defends its use of happy endings, claiming that it’s a great way for the dolphins to “de-stress.” Critics are calling the act sexual abuse and the “wrong solution for the problem of having 14 sexually frustrated male dolphins in a small fish tank.”