May 06, 2016

Turkish Tension And Brazilian Befuddlement



MAY 6, 2016


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Turkish PM Resigns Amid Tension With Erdoğan

Turkish PM Ahmet Davutoğlu announced that he will resign on May 22nd and not run for office again. Although Davutoğlu pledged his unyielding support for President Erdoğan, his resignation comes after days of rumors regarding the two leaders’ deteriorating relationship. Davutoğlu was expected to be a pliant PM but after 20 months in office, he butted heads with the president on numerous occasions, challenging many of Erdoğan’s controversial policies that would lead to changes in the constitution and an increase of the president’s powers (also known as the Putin shuffle). 

What does this mean?

Davutoğlu’s resignation further consolidates President Erdoğan’s position as Turkey’s unrivaled political leader.  This, obviously, concerns the parties outside of AKP that already believe the country is becoming increasingly authoritarian with Erdoğan at the helm. Davutoğlu was a political ally and still ousted for seemingly humble challenges, so the rest of parliament should be cautious in making jokes. If there is one thing Erdoğan can’t take, it’s a joke. 

Brazil Plays Another Round Of Suspension Roulette

Eduardo Cunha, Brazil’s lower house speaker, bitter rival of President Dilma Rousseff and the legislator responsible for her impeachment proceedings, just got a taste of his own medicine. A Supreme Court justice suspended Speaker Cunha for obstructing a corruption investigation. This removes him from the selection pool for Brazil’s next president. He was thought to be second in line for the presidency after Rousseff’s imminent departure, but it’s becoming apparent that Brazil could use a new batch of candidates, as anyone remotely close to the office is under investigation for corruption.

Good Read: Brazil Is Engulfed By Ruling Class Corruption By Glenn Greenwald



#pnut4prez: Sad-Faced GOP Doesn’t Want Trump Either

No one seems more shocked that Donald Trump is the presumptive nominee than Donald Trump himself. In an interview with CNBC yesterday he almost sounded reasonable as he contemplated who his running mate might be and the realization that hispanics will be voting has forced him into some awkward pandering. Meanwhile, the GOP elite struggled to make sense of this news with the Bush former presidents deciding not to endorse Trump and Paul Ryan saying he is “just not ready” to back Trump either.

Doctors Without Borders Is Sick Of Summits Without Action

When 75 of your hospitals get bombed in one year, you start to get a little fed up with feel-good bureaucracy. The medical charity Medecins Sans Frontieres, aka MSF, aka Doctors Without Borders, has announced that they will not be participating in the UN-backed World Humanitarian Summit because they’ve got better things to do, like help. MSF is one of the world’s leading emergency aid providers, but lately they have been the targeted victims as well, especially in Syria. After extensive work and presumably some pleading with the World Humanitarian Summit, MSF has pulled out of the summit, saying, “we no longer have any hope that the WHS will address the weaknesses in humanitarian action and emergency response, particularly in conflict areas or epidemic situations.” 

Vape-Bros Are Devastated By New US Smoking Regulations

The US Food And Drug Administration has announced that they will now regulate e-cigarettes and hookahs the same way the government regulates traditional cigarettes, which means it will be a lot harder for these products to tell people it’s a “safer” alternative. The announcement arrived the same day California raised the legal smoking age to 21, pissing off a lot of cool teenagers. Critics argued that if 18-year-olds can be drafted or volunteer to fight and die for their country, they should be allowed to buy tobacco products. Hearing this concern, California made a bizarre stipulation that 18-year-olds can still purchase tobacco products if they are active duty military personnel.





Frenchman Sues Former Company For Being ‘Too Boring’

The French have been protesting unfair labor standards a lot lately, but this is not one of those cases. Frédéric Desnard of Paris is demanding more than $400,000 from his former employer, a perfume enterprise, as compensation for the four years of boredom they caused. “I was ashamed to be paid to do nothing,” Desnard said. Allegedly he did nothing for four years, and was compensated $360,000 for his efforts, but the money didn’t “fulfill” him. We’re still not sure what the problem is. 

Weekend Reads:


Yes, I want to sound marginally more intelligent: