Clinton Clinched Democratic Nomination

PNUT GALLERY

Children at a primary school in Bristol have way more than sidewalk chalk to brag about. Famed street artist Banksy gave them an original mural.

IN A NUTSHELL: MUST READ

Nobody Wants To Go To The Euros

French Prime Minister Valls is still having a tough time convincing us that France isn’t in chaos or that next week’s European soccer tournament will go off without a hitch. Ukrainian intelligence believe detained Frenchman Gregoire Moutaux planned 15 attacks to execute in France while the country hosted the Euros. Moutaux was detained last month for purchasing five Kalashnikovs, two anti-tank grenade launchers, roughly 5,000 rounds of ammunition, 100 detonators and probably this month’s issue of Gun Digest with a pack of gum.

Who Is Gregoire Moutaux?

Moutaux was originally arrested for arms trafficking, but it’s now clear that he intended to do more than that. After his arrest on the Ukrainian border with Poland, his violent plans and ultranationalist views were revealed. It’s not clear why the Euros tournament was targeted, but Moutaux listed bridges, highways, a mosque and a synagogue as potential locations. Because of his original arrest, he is still being investigated by organized crime specialists, though the case could move to an anti-terrorist unit. 

#pnut4prez: Hillary Clinches The Nomination

Hillary Clinton kicked things off Monday by winning the primary in Puerto Rico, a territory that, oddly enough, is not entitled to vote in the presidential election. Not long after, Associated Press reported Clinton secured enough delegates to claim the Democratic presidential nomination and is the first woman to do so in US history. As Clinton and Sanders campaign in California ahead of today’s primary, you’d think Bernie would be a bit disheartened. But he remains adamant that the superdelegates supporting Hillary Clinton might one day change their minds and there will still be a contest come the Democratic National convention in July.

#pnut4prez: Pnut Guide To The Campaign Trail

NUTS AND BOLTS: SHOULD READ

NATO Creates Largest Renaissance Fair Ever

While not exactly a Renaissance fair, war games can be just as archaic and require equally bad costuming. In an effort to display strength in the face of Russia, NATO and partner countries just kicked off the largest war game in Eastern Europe since the end of the Cold War. Named Anakonda 2016, the 10-day exercise in Poland will include 31,000 troops, equipment from 24 nations and probably some festive face-painting. Not everyone likes this kind of “cosplay” though. Defense experts warn that any mishap could prompt an offensive reaction from Russia, so they better play nice. 

Controversial Read: Did NATO Provoke Putin?

Stanford Rape Trial Forgets Women Are People

A Stanford law professor is leading the campaign against Judge Aaron Persky for giving only six months of jail time to Brock Turner, the Stanford star athlete who was caught raping an unconscious woman behind a dumpster. His sentencing – significantly less severe than the two-year minimum prescribed by state law for his felony offenses – has outraged the nation, directing attention to presiding Judge Persky’s possible bias as a former Stanford star athlete himself. Turner’s father made things even creepier by saying the convicted rapist is the real victim here, calling it a “steep price to pay for 20 minutes of action.” We had no idea sentencing was determined by how long a crime took! So keep your felonies under five minutes, folks. 

Netanyahu Denies Friendship With A Lonely Fraudster

Israeli Prime Minister Binyamin Netanyahu acknowledged that he did, in fact, receive donations from Arnaud Mimran, the French businessman on trial in France for alleged fraud, but they weren’t the huge donations as Mimran alleged. The news comes after weeks of increasingly embarrassing revelations about the pair’s friendship while Mimran stands trial for alleged €283 million scam involving the trade of carbon credits. Hoping to convey that they were just acquaintances, Netanyahu denies the claim that he received €1 million euro and instead brings the number down to about $40,000. Mimran is still trying to prove that the two are BFFs: he has produced pictures of them yachting, claims that Netanyahu lived at his Paris home for awhile and pretty much revealed everything short of an “Arnaud <3 Bibi” tattoo.

KEEPING OUR EYE ON…

Germany: President Joachim Gauck announced that he would not seek another term and plans to step down early next year. By quitting, he complicates Chancellor Angela Merkel’s plans for the election, who has had a hard time garnering support since her open-door refugee policy.

LOOSE NUTS: FOR YOUR ENJOYMENT

Mark Zuckerberg Is Terrible At Creating Passwords

Mark Zuckerberg had his accounts on Twitter, Instagram and Pinterest briefly hacked over the weekend. Sure, it happens to the best of us, but how could the founder of Facebook let a social hacking happen to him? With a password just one step above P@ssw0rd, he had it coming. The hacker group OurMine reportedly took over the billionaire’s social accounts with the ever-cryptic: Dadada.