June 01, 2016

Sausage-Wielding Extremists Attack Vegan Cafe

A vegan cafe in the historic center of Georgia’s capital of Tbilisi fell under attack when “far-right extremists” threw meat at cafe patrons and started a brawl. The Kiwi Cafe has become a popular hangout for LGBT communities and foreigners, bringing criticism and threats from neo-Nazi groups. These sausage-Nazis stormed the cafe holding skewers and wearing the latest pork products, which is bizarrely intimidating. Kiwi Cafe, however, remains committed to serving all communities. 

Yes, I want to sound marginally more intelligent: