June 03, 2016

Turkey And Germany Aren’t Getting Along, France Might Be In Chaos




Looking for some Daily Pnut swag? Tell us what you want!



Turkey And Germany: Best Frenemies Forever

The already-tense relationship between Turkey and Germany reached new heights yesterday after Turkey recalled its ambassador from Berlin. Turkish President Erdogan, known for his sense of humor, already tried to prosecute a German comedian just for jokes, but Germany’s recognition of the Armenian genocide is no laughing matter. Turkey still denies any systematic campaign to slaughter Armenians in 1915, and Germany’s divergent view of that history could sever diplomatic ties. “We will do whatever is necessary to resolve this issue,” Erdogan warned, hoping to “resolve” German opinion.

Why is this important?

Because of the refugee crisis, Europe is a bit desperate for Turkey’s cooperation in stemming the flow of migrants into the rest of the continent. Many countries have tip-toed around Erdogan’s seemingly fragile self esteem, but German Chancellor Merkel argues that it’s a moral obligation to recognize what happened to Armenians, especially since the German Empire was an Ottoman ally at the time. More than 20 nations, as well as Pope Francis, have recognized Turkey’s 1915 actions as genocide.

Good Read: Armenian Genocide: An Overview


‘France Is Not In Chaos,’ Says PM, Amidst Chaos

Despite violent protests erupting across France, despite the rail workers’ strike that shut down half of the country’s train services, despite France declaring a state of emergency due to deadly flooding, despite Air France’s decision to strike which has already caused air travel nightmares, despite unions urging energy workers to cut power supply to various Parisian headquarters, despite panicked consumers receiving rations of gasoline, despite the country beginning to use its oil reserves due to the fuel shortage, despite oil refinery strikers protesting around fires, despite activists blocking access to the nation’s nuclear power plants, despite 10,000 dock workers setting off smoke bombs, despite riot police retaliating against thousands of other protestors, Prime Minister Manuel Valls doesn’t see a problem and will not rescind his labor reforms. He really thinks the Euro Cup will be a good time. 

Ironic Read: America Warns Its Citizens Against Travel To France



#pnut4prez: Ryan Backs The Donald

As Hillary Clinton gave her foreign policy address, in which she reserved choice words for Trump, US House Speaker Paul Ryan officially endorsed The Donald. Having previously admitted that he was not ready to get behind Trump, Ryan said that they have “more common ground than disagreement.” By common ground, he means that neither of them have a choice but to get along. Ryan did give himself some leeway however, saying, “When I feel the need to, I’ll continue to speak my mind.” You know, just in case Trump does something crazy.

Pnut Read: Our Guide To The US Election


Latest King Tut Discovery Makes Everyone Believe In The Illuminati

Real-life archaeologists who are way cooler than Indiana Jones have discovered that the Egyptian Pharaoh Tutankhamun’s dagger is actually made from meteorite metal. Using X-ray fluorescence, researchers at Polytechnic University of Milan analyzed the dagger shrouded in mystery. It was thought that this kind of iron melding did not exist until the 8th century BCE, but King Tut’s dagger was sealed in the tomb with him in the 14th century BCE. Even cooler: ancient Egyptians knew this iron came from a meteorite before we did. Early Egyptian writings referred to it as “iron of the sky.” Needless to say, minds are blown and everyone regrets not pursuing archaeology as a career.  


Another Person Dies From UCLA Gunman’s ‘Kill List’

Police found a note containing a “kill list” in the home of Mainak Sarkar, the gunman identified in the UCLA murder-suicide. Not only did Sarkar’s list include Dr. William S. Klug, the professor who was killed on Wednesday, but it included a woman’s name who was also found dead in her home in Brooklyn Park, Minnesota. Her death seems like more than a bizarre coincidence. Although not discovered until Thursday, police believe she suffered a gunshot wound to the head before Wednesday’s shooting. The third name on the list was a UCLA professor who fortunately was not on campus the day of Sarkar’s attack. 



Cheaters: The clean water crisis in the US isn’t exclusive to Flint, Michigan. An investigation revealed that at least 33 American cities have used water testing “cheats” that potentially conceal dangerous levels of lead. 

Prince: Authorities confirmed that the music legend died of an accidental overdose of opioid painkillers. Prince had a reputation for “clean living” through most of his career, but suffered from debilitating hip pain in his final months. 

Jupiter: A new radio map of the planet reveals that Jupiter hosts large plumes of ammonia. The nature of the planet’s dynamic atmosphere has remained largely unknown, but these new insights could shed light on Jupiter’s origins and evolution. 


UK Troops Are Trolling ISIS With Bollywood Songs

If you can’t beat ’em, annoy ’em. As a new weapon in psychological warfare, British troops are blasting Bollywood show tunes in Libya. The tactic was created by a Pakistani-born intelligence officer with the British Army who said that ISIS really hates Bollywood and considers the music un-Islamic. British and Libyan soldiers planted two cars blaring Bollywood music near Sirte, where ISIS abolished most things fun and frivolous. No word yet on how badly it has annoyed the militants, but no doubt the sing-songy, upbeat tempo of Bollywood will eventually get to them. 


Weekend Reads:

Yes, I want to sound marginally more intelligent: