Turkey Messed Up, Seeds of Corruption in Brazil

PNUT GALLERY

Egyptian investigators believe they may have found wreckage from the EgyptAir flight MS804. This is a developing story, so follow Daily Pnut on Twitter for updates.

IN A NUTSHELL: MUST READ

Turkey Had One Job And Blew It 

It was just one job. European leaders have been pretending to laugh at President Erdogan’s jokes just to get Turkey’s cooperation in the refugee crisis. EU leaders even promised the Turkish government full access to Europe’s 26-country border-free Schengen travel zone by June. All Turkey had to do was meet the EU conditions on border security and fundamental rights by a certain deadline. Well, they missed the deadline. 

Does This Hurt Turkey’s Chances For EU Membership?

Only if you think Turkey had a chance to begin with. EU ambassadors are expected to open up negotiations on Turkish membership talks, but even that is considered a “symbolic gesture” that was promised under the migration deal. Erdogan’s recent power-grabs in parliament, as well as the country’s ongoing dispute with Cyprus, have cast many doubts on negotiations. Membership is unlikely, and the only real accomplishment of this “symbolic gesture” is that it inflamed the British referendum debate over whether to remain in the EU. 

Brazil Creates More Fodder For Its Netflix Series

In the latest of a series of seemingly unending Brazilian corruption probes, Eduardo Cunha, the President of Brazil’s Chamber of Deputies, was stripped of his seat for allegedly lying about having undeclared bank accounts in Switzerland. As you would imagine, Cunha proclaimed his innocence and plans to appeal. Should he fail, however, he has a back-up plan. Like any honorable politician, he warned that if he goes down, he’s taking other politicians down with him. With Netflix announcing in April that they will be making a show about the Brazilian corruption scandal, the material continues to write itself.

Op Ed: Making Brazil’s Political Crisis Worse

NUTS AND BOLTS: SHOULD READ

Orlando Shooter’s Wife Could Face Charges

After the mass shooting at Pulse nightclub left 49 dead in Orlando, shooter Omar Mateen’s wife came forward and said she tried to talk him out of it. Seems like a nice gesture at first, until we think, wait a minute, she knew about it?! Law enforcement officials believe Noor Salman knew of Mateen’s plans and did nothing, making her somewhat of an accomplice. Several sources claim Salman was with Mateen when he cased possible targets in the past two months, including the Walt Disney World Resort, a shopping complex and the Pulse nightclub. For the time being, she is considered a person of interest as investigators gauge her level of knowledge in Mateen’s plans. 

A Rock Star And A Politician Reenact ‘Game Of Thrones’ 

Having a hard time deciding if the UK should remain in the EU? Why not let a celebrity and a politician duke it out on the River Thames! Slightly more civil than a battle by combat à la Game of Thrones, aging rock star Bob Geldof commandeered his own boat to harangue a flotilla of 12 ships that were lead by pro-Brexit politician Nigel Farage. Rather than a mature debate over the pros and cons of departure from the EU, Geldof and Farage hurled insults, sprayed each other with water pistols and blasted music on loudspeakers as though they were battle hymns. The epic sea-battle reached the Palace of Westminster, where police boats attempted to intervene. 

Pnut Read: Everything You Need To Know About The UK’s EU Referendum

Obama And Dalai Lama: A Budding Bromance? 

China got major FOMO and denounced the meetings between US President Barack Obama and the Dalai Lama, the spiritual leader of Tibetan Buddhism and symbolic leader of Tibetan autonomy. China’s foreign ministry spokesman Lu Kang said, “If the US plans this meeting, it will send the wrong signal to Tibet independence and separatist forces and harm China-US mutual trust and cooperation.” Despite threats to Chinese relations, Obama met with the DL on the DL in a closed-door hang out in the White House Map Room. He even called the Dalai Lama a “good friend.” Awww. 

KEEPING OUR EYE ON…

Donald Trump: The DNC’s file on Trump, which was recently hacked by a Russian group, was leaked to the public, and boy, is it thorough. Over 200 pages of juicy details on the “misogynist in chief” are now available to the public. 

West Bank: Palestinian authorities claim that Israel cut off the water supply to large areas of the West Bank. Tens of thousands of Palestinians now lack clean water supplies during a time when many are fasting for Ramadan and temperatures can exceed 95° F. 

Stanford: Judge Aaron Persky, the guy who gave a lenient sentence to a convicted rapist, was removed from a similar case. Given the public outcry from his last case, prosecutors were concerned about his ability to “fairly participate” in the proceeding.

Argentina: Former Public Works Minister Jose Lopez was arrested for allegedly trying to hide millions of dollars in cash in a monastery. Either that is a very generous donation to the church or it’s money laundering. Police suspect the latter.

LOOSE NUTS: FOR YOUR ENJOYMENT

Bill To Punish Absent Congressmen Fails Because Of Absent Congressmen

Colombia failed to pass a bill that sought to punish chronic absenteeism because too many congressmen were absent, and the session was canceled. Unsurprisingly, Colombia’s Congress is the least approved public institution, due to its inability to pass any proposals. The opposition party Democratic Center proposed the bill which would have meant salary cuts for the Congressmen who are never there. In beautiful irony, the bill never even saw its first debate, since so few people showed up to work.