July 15, 2016

Amateur Testicle Surgeon Arrested For The Obvious

In a shocking medical discovery, an Australian man discovered that amateur testicular surgery isn’t good for you. Allan George Matthews pleaded guilty and admitted to “removing tissue” from one of his patients “without consent or authority” at a motel north of Sydney. The 52-year-old victim had posted an online ad seeking “assistance” for the pain in his testicles after being kicked by a horse, saying he couldn’t afford real medical attention. Clearly suffering from the worst luck ever, the victim’s genitals soon became infected after Matthews worked his magic on them. Police seized Matthews’ medical equipment and are reminding citizens that testicular surgery is not a DIY project. 

Yes, I want to sound marginally more intelligent: