G20 Recap And Duterte Plays The School Yard Bully

PNUT GALLERY

The nun formerly known as Mother Teresa is now Saint Teresa to you. Pope Francis upgraded the popular nun in a canonization Mass held in the Vatican.

 IN A NUTSHELL: MUST READ

G20 Proves Just As Awkward As Advertised

The G20 is like the world leader’s equivalent of Thanksgiving Dinner: awkward, tense and there is always that one person everyone is trying to avoid. (You can decide who that person is.) The meeting kicked off in chaotic fashion after China, this year’s hosts, “forgot” to roll out the red carpet treatment for President Obama when Air Force One arrived. In an effort to prove he has the maturity and temperament to be President, Trump said he would have just left if that happened to him.

Awkward arrivals aside, some good news came out of the G20. President Obama and Chinese President Xi both ratified the Paris Climate Agreement, which hopes to drastically reduce greenhouse gas emissions. China and Japan were also able to enjoy a friendly moment, while Saudi Arabia and Russia said they might, possibly, perhaps, hopefully agree to stabilize oil prices. A side discussion between Obama and Putin on Syria, however, failed to amount to anything, despite a wider Turkish push in Syria, a spate of ISIS suicide bombings and rebel losses around Aleppo. The summit was also overshadowed by North Korea’s launch of three ballistic missiles as the Hermit Kingdom tries to proves that it is still deadly and relevant… Completely unhelpful, Kim.

Duterte Is The School Bully On Your Model UN Team

And you thought the name-calling at the Republican presidential debates was bad! None of us had high hopes from Philippines President Rodrigo Duterte’s tact and eloquence, but his language descended further into playground banter this week after he called US President Barack Obama a “son of a whore.” Duterte said this at a press conference, followed by the warning that Obama “must be respectful” of all things. To call these two “frenemies” would be painfully optimistic. Yet, the pair are scheduled to meet today at a regional summit in Laos, where Obama is expected to at least mention the 2,400 people Duterte has killed in just two months. Let’s see if they hit it off.

NUTS AND BOLTS: SHOULD READ

Oh, Scheiße: German Conservatism Is Still On The Rise

Allies of Chancellor Angela Merkel are urging her to change course on refugees after AfD, the extreme right wing anti-immigration party beat her own governing CDU party in a regional election. “Alternative for Germany” – whose Nazi-like qualities are well documented – only formed three years ago, with a shared social policy of hating everyone. They somehow managed to beat Merkel’s Christian Democratic Union in her home state of Mecklenburg-West Pomerania.

The news depicts this as a humiliating loss for Angela Merkel, seeing as her party lost in her own home turf. But let’s not forget that she comes from the least densely populated state in Germany, and progressive refugee policies can be a hard sell in rural areas. Urban liberals are still shivering at the idea of such a radical fringe group jumping the ranks in a major election, but Merkel seems unwavering in her open stance on refugees. “Obviously [the election result] has something to do with the refugee question,” she said. “But I nevertheless believe the decisions made were right and we have to continue to work on them.”

Hong Kong Throws A Party And Doesn’t Invite Beijing

Millennials just love to crash parties. The next generation of pro-democracy activists are about to become more influential than ever, moving from the front lines of protests to the legislative council. After a record 2.2 million people went to the polls in Hong Kong on Sunday, it was clear that at least four “radical” young activists – all of whom support either greater political autonomy or outright independence from China – claimed seats in the Legco, Hong Kong’s 70-member legislative council. Who are these four horsemen of China’s feared apocalypse? Let’s meet them:

Nathan Law, the 23-year-old who was one of the leaders of the 2014 “umbrella movement” protests.

Yau Wai-ching, a 25-year-old from Youngspiration, a new political party and probable Pinterest account.

Sixtus “Baggio” Leung, a 30-year-old who wants full independence for Hong Kong.

Cheng Chung-tai, a 33-year-old academic from the Civic Passion party.

Needless to say, Beijing is not pleased with the newest party guests in Legco, who mark a generational handover in Hong Kong politics. Even Hong Kong’s pro-democracy movement is nervous. The “old guard” leaders spent decades fighting for expanded political rights and see the millennial newcomers as a less compromising and more confrontational generation. The elected millennials don’t seem too worried about the #haters though.

Greek Crisis: It Ain’t Over ‘Til Angela Merkel Sings

Feeling confident about their multi-tasking abilities, the EU decided to revive the Greek Crisis so that it could solve it in tandem with Brexit, the refugee crisis and the rise of the far-right. About a year ago, the Greek government agreed to undergo a series of reforms in return for a “bailout” from the Eurozone, IMF and European Central Bank. The bailout money essentially goes right back to these three players as that’s who Greece owed money to in the first place. So far, Greece has only implemented two of the 15 promised reforms and according to German newspaper Handelsblatt, the Euro countries are pretty pissed about that. Rumor has it that they won’t be giving Greece any bailout funds promised for this year, which could bring the crisis right back to where we started. Meanwhile, while the politicians bicker and dawdle, Greece continues to suffer from a depression that’s shrunk the economy by a quarter with a youth unemployment rate above 50%.

Good Read: ‘Modern Greece: What Everyone Needs to Know’ By Stathis Kalyvas

KEEPING OUR EYE ON 

Syria: ISIS is taking credit for this weekend’s wave of bombings across the country, which killed at least 40 people in four separate cities. Most of the bombings took place in government-held areas, the deadliest of which was outside Tartous, home to a Russian naval base.

Uzbekistan: The country continues to mourn the loss of President Islam Karimov, after holding a funeral in the 78-year-old’s honor. Karimov lead the country for 27 years, and though he was considered one of Asia’s most autocratic leaders, there is still uncertainty over who will succeed him.

Reunions: In an effort to increase cooperation, the UK appointed an ambassador to Iran for the first time since 2011. Nicholas Hopton, a former British ambassador to Qatar and Yemen, was named ambassador.

 LOOSE NUTS: FOR YOUR ENJOYMENT

Anarchist Fish Crashes A G20 Summit Party

The Chinese government did everything it could to ensure smooth sailing at the G20 Summit in Hangzhou, but they were no match for the flying fish that jumped aboard a boat full of world leaders to make a bold statement. Reports suggest that British Prime Minister Theresa May had been chatting with German Chancellor Angela Merkel and Australian Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull when the subversive fish crashed the party in protest. No doubt flipping to the tune of “Holidays in the Sun” by the Sex Pistols, the anarchist fish caused a furore as presidents and prime ministers scrambled to avoid it. Before slapping a few global leaders with the fin of environmental justice, it eventually knocked down Italian Prime Minister Matteo Renzi as he tried to fight back. No word yet on whether the fish was hired by the Occupy Movement.