October 20, 2016
The Debates Got Nasty, But At Least They’re Over
PNUT GALLERY
America doesn’t have to suffer through any more debates. But we do have to survive three more weeks of campaigning.
What did you think of the debate? And more importantly, who do you think will win the election?
IN A NUTSHELL: MUST READ
#pnut4prez: Such A Nasty Debate
Finally, it’s over. No more rude interruptions, stalking, shimmying, and sniffling. We did it, team. We got through this together.
Last night’s debate retained all the not-so-endearing hallmarks of the first two, replete with vague economic policies and speculation on whether the election is rigged. Donald Trump kicked things off with a strong start, initially remaining calm and giving views a sense that he may have actually prepared this time, even putting Hillary Clinton in the hot seat. He clearly did some research, but it was almost exclusively from the hacked emails that Wikileaks released. Sure, Ecuador cut off internet access for Wikileaks founder Julian Assange over fears of the hacked files interfering with the US election, but sensitive intelligence is totally appropriate for an internationally televised debate.
Just when we started to think we were in for a civil conversation, moderator Chris Wallace said the word “immigration.” Once again, all hell broke loose. Donald Trump reached new levels of offense by saying “we have some bad hombres here,” not-so-subtly referring to Mexican immigrants and his planned wall. While Clinton tried to keep her cool and responded, “I don’t want to see the deportation force that Donald has talked about,” Twitter erupted into a cornucopia of memes. Then there was the one-two punch of Trump assuring that “nobody has more respect for women” than he does and then immediately proving that by saying Hillary Clinton is “such a nasty woman.”
Still, none of the name-calling compared to a terrifying civics lesson that moderator Chris Wallace had to deliver to Trump, after he suggested that he would contest the elections if he doesn’t win the Presidency. Clinton rightfully called his refusal horrifying and Wallace tried his best to explain to Trump that the US has a proud history of peaceful transitions of power. Although not an outright promise of mutiny, it is an ominous sign that our worst nightmare is coming true: this election will never end.
Pnutty Read: The 6 Biggest Moments From The Final Presidential Debate
NUTS AND BOLTS: SHOULD READ
Thousands Of Women Across Argentina Go On Strike
Women across Argentina walked out of their offices yesterday, demanding an end to “machista violence.” The protests were in response to the death of Lucia Perez, and 16-year-old girl who died from being violently raped. (Warning: BBC’s coverage of the events include graphic descriptions of sexual violence that we won’t even share here.) Perez’s gruesome murder rightfully outraged women in a country where, on average, one woman is killed from domestic violence every 36 hours. Calling the day “Miercoles Negro” or Black Wednesday, women and activists wore all-black, organized strikes across industries in Argentina and held a march in Buenos Aires. Earlier this year, Argentina’s President Mauricio Macri promised to tackle violence against women and create a network for women refugees. However, those new measures will not begin until next year.
Philippines, America And China Walk Into A Bar…
The US-Philippines relationship came under further stress on Wednesday when a protest in front of the US embassy turned violent. A crowd had gathered to protest against the US military presence in the Philippines on the same day that President Duterte was in China trying to patch up the China-Philippines relationship. The Philippines is a long-standing US ally, central to the Obama’s “pivot to Asia” and any US strategy to “contain” China. However, the relationship has become strained ever since President Duterte assumed power earlier this year and started calling Obama a “son of a whore,” and telling him to “go to hell.” With friends like these…
El Chapo Judge Murdered In Most Predictable Whodunit
You don’t have to be Sherlock Holmes to figure out who was probably behind the murder of Vicente Bermudez Zaharias, a Mexican judge who was presiding over the trial of drug kingpin Joaquin “El Chapo” Guzman. The judge was jogging in his neighborhood outside of Mexico City when a man came up behind him and shot him, which happened to be caught on camera. Zaharias did not have any police protection, despite presiding over the trials of multiple cartel leaders. It’s hard to imagine anyone is eager to replace Zaharias on El Chapo’s case.
KEEPING OUR EYE ON
Democratic Republic of Congo: The International Criminal Court convicted former Congolese Vice President Jean-Pierre Bemba of witness tampering. The ICC ruled that Bemba bribed witnesses to lie in his favor at a war crimes trial for that time when he oversaw rape-and-murder campaigns in Central African Republic.
Afghanistan: A gunman fired on international advisers in Kabul, killing two Americans and wounding another three. The victims were a service member and a civilian who were at a NATO training mission for Afghan security forces at the time. The unnamed gunman, who was wearing an Afghan army uniform, was killed.
PNUTTY VIDEOS
Some parts of the debate were so absurd you just have to seem to believe them.
A funny thing happened to Ivanka Trump on the way to the debate.
SPONSORED NUTS: MACK WELDON
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LOOSE NUTS: FOR YOUR ENJOYMENT
Internet Mandates That Unsuspecting Tea-Seller Become Super Model
The internet has the power to do many things. It’s a place for self expression. It’s a place for political mobilization. It’s a place for cats. But yesterday, the internet decided it would take one unsuspecting tea-seller in Pakistan and turn him into an international superstar, all because he is, well, awe-inspiringly beautiful. And we mean that in the most objective sense: even The Guardian and BBC commented on his rugged good looks, sky-blue eyes and chiseled mustache. Yes, the world’s most reliable news sources were forced to comment on his looks because his picture became viral. Needless to say, 18-year-old Arshad Khan the Chai Wala (Tea Seller) has already been offered his first modeling campaign. In less than 24 hours, he went from selling tea to selling Game of Thrones t-shirts because the internet demanded it.
PNUT PATRONS
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