The Cubs Win The World Series While Russia Breaks Up With Amnesty

PNUT GALLERY

The Curse of the Billy Goat was lifted! After a nail-biting 10 innings – which included a tie game in the eighth inning and a rain delay after the ninth – the Chicago Cubs beat the Cleveland Indians 8-7 in the World Series. This is the Cubs’ first win since 1908.

 IN A NUTSHELL: MUST READ

 South African President So Corrupt That Even Satirists Want Him Gone

A 355-page report released on Wednesday details all the juicy gossip about South African President Jacob Zuma’s corruption, alleging that Zuma gave special favors to his billionaire friends. If that doesn’t seem abnormal for a politician, he also spent taxpayer money on an amphitheater, chicken run and pool for his private residence. The backlash has been swift and far-reaching. Protestors have taken to the streets, the Nelson Mandela Foundation said Zuma had weakened state institutions, and even South Africa’s editorial cartoonists said they are willing to give up their best material in favor of presidential purity.

Iowa Man Arrested For Killing Police

A man was arrested for killing two police officers in two separate ambush-style attacks on Wednesday night in a Des Moines suburb. Police said they were familiar with the suspect, 46-year-old Mr. Greene, but weren’t sure what the motive was. What is known is that Greene had been kicked out of his daughter’s high school for waving a confederate flag and causing a general ruckus during a high school football game. This is the first time Des Moines police officers were shot and killed for doing their job since 1977, underlying a dangerous trend of the shooting of police officers.

NUTS AND BOLTS: SHOULD READ

 Moscow Breaks Up With Amnesty By Leaving Their Stuff On The Sidewalk

There are discreet ways of ending a relationship, and then there is throwing your ex’s stuff out of a window and leaving it scattered on the sidewalk. Moscow officials have a flare for drama and really wanted to drive the message home that Amnesty International is in the doghouse. Amnesty staffers arrived to work Wednesday morning only to find that their office had been broken into and sealed off by municipal officials. Neighbors confirmed that five men had arrived earlier, broke into Amnesty’s offices and changed the locks, effectively blocking employees from accessing their computers and any personal items left in the building. This soap-opera-level break up is becoming a popular trend in Russia, where many local rights groups have had similar problems with municipal authorities this year.

#Pnut4Prez: Please… Go Away

Hang in there people! The US election is only six days away. If you aren’t registered yet, check if your state offers same day registration. Here’s what you may have missed today:

• Obama criticized FBI Director Comey’s decision to kick up the email controversy again during an interview with Now This. He expressed frustration that the FBI was operating on innuendo so close to the election without having hard facts to back it up.
• White Nationalist groups including the KKK are supposedly planning an election day show of force to “monitor for fraud” and intimidate minority turnout. Some of their “creative” and overtly racist plans include things like installing hidden cameras in polling locations, conducting their own exit polls and passing around marijuana and liquor in “the ghetto” to make people too lazy to go vote. As if on queue, a black church in Mississippi was set on fire and graffitied with the words “vote Trump.”

PNUT READ: We Imagine What A Trump TV Lineup Might Look Like

Divine Intervention Can’t Even Unite Venezuela’s Politicians

Tension between President Nicolas Maduro and the opposition – and we mean all the other parties – spiked once again following a dynamic round of name-calling between Maduro and opposing party Popular Will. And to think, the Vatican had just mediated talks on Sunday and got both sides to agree to “cool down the rhetoric.”

President Maduro was so relaxed that he even dusted off his dancing shoes to record his new radio program, “The Salsa Hour,” described by the President himself as “a radio newspaper that dances.” He was however, dancing to the song “Indestructible” by Ray Baretto, which carries the political subtly of a sledgehammer. Opposition politician Freddy Guevara presumably wasn’t a fan of the song choice or the fact that his party’s leader, Leopoldo Lopez, is still incarcerated while Maduro’s trial was suspended. Maduro responded by calling Guevara a “terrorist” and a “coward.” The Vatican has gone back to the drawing board in an attempt to ensure the next talks on November 11^th are more successful.

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 KEEPING OUR EYE ON

Saudi Arabia: Not even Saudi royalty are safe from the government’s extreme forms of punishment. Another prince was flogged in prison after a court sentencing, just two weeks after Prince Turki bin Saud al-Kabir was executed for murder.

Gawker: Nick Denton, the founder of the now-bankrupt Gawker Media, will settle claims with wrestling star Hulk Hogan and other litigants to the tune of $32 million. All litigants were backed by billionaire Peter Thiel and the settlement sends a chill up the spines of most journalists. Though it took four years, Thiel’s strategy of silencing critical journalism seemed to work.

 PNUTTY VIDEOS

Barack Obama sat down for a hilarious interview with Samantha Bee and told her a scary story about what could happen on Election Day next week. 

 PNUT ORIGINALS

Is Donald Trump going to start his own TV network after the election? This is what Trump TV programming might look like.

We’re counting down to Election Day with Pnutty election facts. Here’s today’s: American astronauts can vote from the ISS via email.

 LOOSE NUTS: FOR YOUR ENJOYMENT

 Cash-Strapped Mayor Puts Town Hall Up For Sale

Yantarny Mayor Alexei Zalivatsky is a real ideas man. The mayor of the small Russian coastal town wanted to avoid taking on more debt and so offered up the best asset he had besides his budgeting skills: town hall. The building is 10,128 square feet of luxury that Zalivatsky muses would make a great hotel and help his administration make a quick buck. The government building will be sold at auction, but in the meantime, Zalivatsky has to figure out where he will house his staff. In response to so many people questioning his plan, the mayor suggested they could all work on the beach. We think he was joking, but then again people thought he was joking when he said he’d sell town hall.