*Finding Common Water | The Greatest Reader | Mating Habits

“In a mad world, only the mad are sane.” – Akira Kurosawa

“Man is a genius when he is dreaming.” – Ibid.

Caspian Sea Deal Signed: Countries Find Common Groun…Water: US sanctions imposed on Iran, and to some extent Russia, were meant to exact punishing economic hardships, and they have. But they have also brought about something 20 years of diplomatic haggling had not been able to achieve —agreement on a legal framework for sharing the world’s largest inland body of water. The Caspian Sea bridges Asia and Europe and has reserves of oil and gas as well as being a habitat for sturgeon. The five coastal nations of Azerbaijan, Kazakhstan, Russia, Turkmenistan and Iran held a summit, which culminated in the signing of a legal convention, or regional constitution as it were, which will provide guidelines on how the nations will conduct their activities in the sea.

To be sure, divisive issues remain, such as how to fairly apportion the hydrocarbon-rich seabed, and whether Russia will agree to Turkmenistan pursuing its proposed 300km gas pipeline to Azerbaijan, which would then open up its huge, cheap, gas reserves to a European market presently dominated by the Russian company, Gazprom. On Sunday the five nations agreed to 15 miles of sovereign waters, in addition to a further 10 nautical miles of fishing area, beyond which there would be common waters.

The Bourne Naivete: In quite possibly the worst summer blockbuster ever, a man was arrested in Paris after fleeing from the scene of a car wreck and hopping the fence of the General Directorate of External Security (the headquarters of France’s spy agency). The driver reportedly fled because he didn’t have a driver’s license. It is still unclear if he has amnesia and the Spy agency is to blame. (Guardian)

Monsanto to “Roundup” $289 Million For Dying Man: A jury has ruled that the agricultural company, Monsanto, must pay Dewayne Johnson $289 Million. Johnson, a former school groundskeeper, developed a rash that turned into non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma after using Monsanto’s weed killer, Roundup. Monsanto denies that their weed killer causes Cancer and plans to appeal the decision. (NPR)

It Was The Monk in The Monastery with a Blunt Object: The murder of a Egyptian bishop has finally been solved after one of the Coptic monastery monks confessed to the crime. It is currently rumored that monk, Isaiah al-Makari, murdered Bishop Epiphanius due to “conflicts between the bishop and the other monks.” (Guardian)

The Monsters Are Due on Wallaby Way: Larrimah, Australia, late summer. A tree-shrubbed little world of front porch sugar gliders, barbies, the laughter of the town’s 11 residents, and the neon drone of the Pink Panther Bar. At the sound of the roar and the flash of light, it will be precisely December 16, 2017. Paddy Moriarty has his last drink at the Pink Panther before abruptly disappearing, leaving the town’s ten residents with exactly enough fingers to point out all the suspects. Welcome to The Twilight Zo-I mean Australia. (NYT)

Made in China: In 2015 China eased its decades-old, draconian “one child” policy to allow couples to have two children. But that decision was apparently too little, too late. Now officials worry that unless they can figure out how to get women to start having even more babies, they could have a demographics crisis that could imperil economic growth and undercut the ruling Communist Party and its leader, Xi Jinping. (NYT)

Am I Making You Blush? Or Is It The Brine Shrimp?: Some Like it Hot- particularly flamingos. Their name does start with flam(e), after all. These exotic, endangered birds are “fickle breeders” and can go without nesting successfully for years. But the recent heat wave that engulfed Europe turned out to be good news for flamingos at the Wildfowl and Wetlands Trust in Slimbridge, England. Six Andean flamingos laid nine eggs, a totally unsuspected, yet very welcomed surprise for theaviculture manager at the reserve. (NYT)

Romania Wasn’t Revolutionized in A Day: Tens of thousands gathered on Saturday for a second night of anti-government demonstrations in Bucharest. Protesters are angry about what they say is entrenched corruption, low wages, and attempts by the governing Social Democrats (PSD) to weaken the judiciary. Saturday’s demonstrations weren’t as violent as Friday’s, when more than 400 people were injured in clashes with gendarmes (police). Romania’s President Klaus Iohannis condemned the “brutal intervention of the Gendarmerie,” saying their actions were “strongly disproportionate with the demonstrations of the majority of people….” (CNN)

One Billion Dollars for Some La La Land: In sketchy real estate news, someone who declines to comment on things is declining to comment on the 157 acres of entirely empty Los Angeles land that they have put on the market for ONE BILLION DOLLARS. In a very cursed Scooby-Doo-like style, the property has been shifted through many shady owners due to various corruption and tragedy. On the bright side, if you do shell out the $1 billion, the property offers a beautiful view of the LA area and of the smog that has clearly clouded your judgement. (Guardian)

Country Roads, Take Me Home. To The Place I Can Afford: Rural America is facing a new, very unique housing crisis: bad homes. Since the 2008 recession, many rural residents refuse to sell their homes, which means the few remaining houses on the market tend to be older and in need of serious renovations. Mary Wilson, the director of the local economic development office in Ogallala, Nebraska, says it is because, “People aren’t updating their homes before they throw them on the market…And people are living in their homes longer here.” (NPR)

Anti-Sessions Tweeting Session: President Trump has been vacationing at his private golf club in Bedminster, NJ, but still managed to catch his favorite media channel, Fox. Something he saw fired him up, so Saturday he took more time out to ramp up his attacks on his attorney general, Jeff Sessions. Besides still being mad at Sessions for recusing himself in the Russia investigation, the president’s now mad that Sessions hasn’t brought some kind of charges against Hillary Clinton. Trump tweeted: “Our A.G. is scared stiff and Missing in Action.” Later he posed for photos with 100 motorcycle riders from the NJ chapter of Bikers for Trump. (NYT)

Dear Diary: A quick glance at Rep. Chris Collins (R-NY) daily journal entries: August 8th. Got charged with 13 counts of securities and wire fraud, conspiracy, and lying to investigators. Pleaded Not Guilty. Announced I’m remaining on the ballot for the midterms. August 9th and 10th. Got taken to the woodshed. Saturday August 11. Announced that in the best interests of my constituents I’m suspending my campaign. (NPR)

– “Tech companies use “persuasive design” to get us hooked. Psychologists say it’s unethical.” While you’ve been reading this, your kid stole your credit card to buy Fortnite credits. (Vox)

– Being glued to our screens is worsening our eyesight. “Chemists discover how blue light speeds blindness: Blue light from digital devices and the sun transforms vital molecules in the eye’s retina into cell killers” So let’s all just enjoy these memes and cat videos while we still can. (Phys.org)

– “The big picture: The American industries that can’t find workers: Amid the country’s booming economy, currently in the midst of its longest-ever streak of job growth, some American industries are having problems finding workers to fill their openings.” (Axios)

– “Laziness led to extinction of Homo erectus: “This ‘laziness’ paired with an inability to adapt to a changing climate likely played a role in the species going extinct, according to lead researcher Dr. Ceri Shipton of the ANU School of Culture, History and Language.” We’re doomed. (Phys.org)

– “The Flourishing Business of Fake YouTube Views: Plays can be bought for pennies and delivered in bulk, inflating videos’ popularity and making the social media giant vulnerable to manipulation.” It’s how Pewdiepie became the President. (NYT)

– “Who Killed the Great American Cable-TV Bundle?” YouTube and Netflix in the Living Room with the Stranger Things (Yep, two Clue references today). (Bloomberg)

–  And we thought we were bibliophiles. “Burt Britton, a Book Lover if Ever There Was One, Dies at 84: “There is no doubt in my mind that I am the greatest reader alive, at least in fiction.” (NYT)

– “Around the World With Books: A Peek at Global Best-Seller Lists: By this point in August, the lists have become sludgy and static, with very little turnover…We decided to turn to other countries to see what they’re reading these days.” (NYT)

“I can’t afford to hate anyone. I don’t have that kind of time.” – Akira Kurosawa

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