Bad Laws, A Bad Congressman, & A Very Expensive Banana

November 22, 2024

Hello, readers – happy Friday! Today, we’ll be talking about some not-so-great laws, Matt Gaetz (the saga has concluded), an arrest warrant, a missile, DOGE plans, national security, and a very pricey banana.

Here’s some good news: The Massachusetts Institute of Technology announced that students with family income below $200,000 can attend the school for free. Also, Italy recovered Etruscan artifacts worth $8.5 million that were destined for the black market. Finally, the WNBA might get an expansion, with Cleveland vying for its own women’s basketball team.

“Time flies over us, but leaves its shadow behind.” – Nathaniel Hawthorne

Capitol Hill Cracks Down

Capitol by Michael Duva via Getty Images

On Thursday, the House passed a bill allowing the Treasury Department to strip non-profits of their tax-exempt status if it determines they support “terrorism.” The bill has garnered widespread criticism for essentially handing the executive branch free rein to shut down political opponents – specifically, pro-Palestinian groups, as Washington seems all too happy to conflate criticism of Israel with support of Hamas or anti-semitism.

Sneakily, the bill was rolled up with another measure to provide tax relief to Americans unfairly imprisoned abroad. That combined bill passed the House 219-184, with 15 Democrats siding with their Republican colleagues. “A sixth-grader would know this is unconstitutional,” said Jamie Raskin, a Democratic congressman representing Maryland. “They want us to vote to give the president Orwellian powers and the not-for-profit sector Kafkaesque nightmares.”

Speaking of congressional votes and Orwellian powers, President-elect Trump has called on congressional Republicans to “kill” the PRESS Act, which would strengthen journalist-source confidentiality. The bill already passed the Republican-controlled House with a unanimous vote, but Trump’s recent post on Truth Social shouting that “REPUBLICANS MUST KILL THIS BILL!” might put an end to that momentum.

A New AG Arrives

Gaetz-gate is over – we didn’t even have time for the name to catch on! Yesterday, Florida Republican Matt Gaetz withdrew his name from consideration for the Trump attorney general position after a week full of controversy regarding his past conduct. The issues with the Gaetz nomination include multiple investigations into the former House Representative’s sexual misconduct, drug use, and possible sex trafficking.

Shortly after Gaetz bowed out of the job, Trump announced his replacement – former Florida AG Pam Bondi. Bondi is a longtime Trump supporter and even worked as the President-elect’s lawyer in his first impeachment case. “For too long, the partisan Department of Justice has been weaponized against me and other Republicans – Not anymore,” Trump said in his announcement. “Pam will refocus the DOJ to its intended purpose of fighting Crime, and Making America Safe Again.”

Gaetz, meanwhile, said he still looks “forward to continuing the fight to save our country… just maybe from a different post.” What are we looking forward to, besides the weekend? Hopefully the release of the House Ethics Committee report on Gaetz’s misconduct. We’re just curious people.

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No More Eurotrips For Netanyahu

(Netanyahu by Abir Sultan via Getty Images)

Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu is now a wanted man. Yesterday, the International Criminal Court (ICC) issued arrest warrants for Netanyahu, former Israeli defense minister Yoav Gallant, and Hamas military chief Mohammed Deif. Netanyahu and Gallant are wanted for using “starvation as a method of warfare” in Gaza and intentionally targeting civilians. Deif is wanted for orchestrating the October 7 attacks.
Netanyahu’s office described the warrant as “anti-semitic,” adding that “there is nothing more just than the war that Israel has been waging in Gaza.” The U.S., Israel’s closest ally, said it rejected the court’s decision. Not that that really matters – the U.S. and Israel aren’t member states of the ICC – but the U.S. has criticized other countries for not arresting Vladimir Putin (who also has an ICC warrant out for his arrest) when he travels.
What does this mean? Well, having an ICC warrant on his head puts Netanyahu in some less-than-desirable company. It will also make traveling harder for the Israeli leader, as the 124 member states of the ICC will have an obligation to arrest him if he ever enters their borders. So far, several European countries including France, Italy, and the Netherlands have broadcasted their intent to carry out the warrants.

I’m Telling You, You’ve Got The Wrong Missile!

Yesterday, Ukraine claimed it was struck by a Russian ICBM. Which is interesting, because, if you know anything about the geography of Eastern Europe, Ukraine actually shares a land border with Russia, so it wouldn’t really make sense for Moscow to deploy an inter-continental ballistic missile to hit any target in Ukraine.
Later in the day, the Pentagon corrected the record, stating that Russia had used an intermediate-range ballistic missile (IRBM) to hit Ukraine instead. The missile, an experimental model named the RS-26 Rubezh, reportedly struck the Ukrainian city of Dnipro. Russia also apparently warned the U.S. about the strike to ward off concerns that the missile was equipped with a nuclear warhead.

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DOGE: A Libertarian’s Best Friend

Elon Musk and Vivek Ramaswamy, co-leaders of the Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE), released an op-ed outlining their plans for the federal government. They said they’ll focus on three things: regulatory cuts, administrative reductions, and cost-savings. They plan to use legal experts inside government agencies “aided by advanced technology” (Grok?) to identify rules that exceed the authority Congress granted agencies.
They also said they would welcome “a wave of voluntary terminations” of federal employees who don’t want to work from the office five days a week. “If federal employees don’t want to show up, American taxpayers shouldn’t pay them for the Covid-era privilege of staying home,” they wrote. Sound unpopular? They’re counting on it. “We are prepared for the onslaught from entrenched interests in Washington. We expect to prevail,” they wrote.

A Threat So Dangerous They Can’t Even Talk About It

Both Democrats and Republicans on the Senate Homeland Security Committee were not pleased with the decision by Homeland Security Secretary Alejandro Mayorkas and FBI Director Christopher Wray to decline to testify at a public hearing on “worldwide threats.” The two offered to testify in a classified hearing instead.
The FBI said they “believe the Committee would benefit most from further substantive discussions and additional information that can only be provided in a classified setting.” The decision was called “a shocking departure from the Homeland Security and Governmental Affairs Committee’s longstanding tradition of transparency and oversight,” and Chairman Gary Peters said it was “the first time in more than 15 years” that this has happened.

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An A-Peel-ing Auction Item

You might remember, in the deep, dark recesses of your mind, a controversial piece of art that’s circulated the internet for a few years. The piece, named the “Comedian,” is a conceptual work consisting of… a banana duct taped to a wall (and also a certificate of authenticity, which lets the owner replace the banana whenever it rots). The banana first appeared at the Art Basel Miami Beach art show in 2019, where three editions of the piece sold for $120,000 to $150,000 apiece. A performance artist also ripped one of the bananas off the wall and ate it for free.
On Wednesday, one of the three remaining bananas (not the one in the guy’s stomach) resurfaced for auction. Bidding started at a whopping $800,000 and lasted for five minutes. At the end of the flurry, the banana was won by crypto entrepreneur Justin Sun. The final price? $6.2 million, including auction-house fees.
In a statement, Sun said the “Comedian” represents “a cultural phenomenon that bridges the worlds of art, memes, and the cryptocurrency community.” He also added, “In the coming days, I will personally eat the banana as part of this unique artistic experience, honoring its place in both art history and popular culture.” How original.

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