Gaza Destruction, A Group Chat Mishap, & Genetic Data Loses Its Shine

March 25, 2025

Hello, readers – happy Tuesday! Today, we’ll be talking about the Middle East, Venezuela relations, Russia and Ukraine, a comedian’s backlash, the most embarrassing group chat mistake, Mahmoud Khalil, and the (possible) end of 23andMe. 

Here’s some good news: Yesterday officially marked the beginning of cherry blossom season in Japan (they usually reach their peak in late March to early April, if you’re planning a trip). Also, Parisians voted to pedestrianize 500 more streets in the city. The referendum will eliminate 10,000 more parking spots in Paris.

“To know that we know what we know, and to know that we do not know what we do not know, that is true knowledge.” – Nicolaus Copernicus

Israel’s Not-So Humanitarian Zone

It was a doozy of a Monday in Israel. Yesterday, sources within the Israeli military notified the press that the IDF is drafting up plans for a ground invasion and full occupation of Gaza. The plans aren’t technically set in stone (yet), but they were drafted by the current IDF chief of staff with the unofficial backing of a bloc of far-right ministers. 

According to the plans, the IDF would call up multiple combat divisions to re-invade Gaza and the military would forcibly relocate the enclave’s population of 2.2 million into a tiny “humanitarian zone,” where the Israelis would provide Palestinians with the food and water they need to survive. Apparently, the military has already calculated the bare minimum number of calories needed for Palestinians in the camps to survive.

While that grim news hovered above Gaza, things weren’t much better in the West Bank. Israeli police arrested Hamdan Ballal, one of four directors of the Oscar-winning documentary No Other Land, in the Masafer Yatta area of the West Bank yesterday. According to multiple Jewish activists who witnessed the incident, Ballal was first assaulted by a group of roughly 15 armed Israeli settlers dressed in military uniforms before beating him. He and two other activists on the scene were taken into police custody and driven off to an undisclosed location. An Israeli police statement said that the witnesses were “terrorists” who started the incident by throwing rocks at Israeli citizens. 

Trump’s One-Way Trips Are Back On Schedule

Trump is loading up his version of America’s favorite firearm – the sanction gun…except this is more of a tariff gun. Yesterday, the president announced that he would be levying 25% tariffs on imports from any country that buys oil from Venezuela, writing, “Venezuela has been very hostile to the United States and the Freedoms which we espouse.” The move comes as relations between the two countries have declined over a dispute regarding Venezuelan immigrants coming to the U.S.

On Saturday, Trump and Venezuelan President Nicolás Maduro came to a tentative agreement to reinstate Trump’s deportation flights for Venezuelan immigrants. Trump’s ICE has been sending Venezuelans it detains in America back to the nation’s capital of Caracas on a series of deportation flights since January. Those flights were suspended when Trump tried to cut off the flow of Venezuelan oil into the U.S. in late February by revoking a license for Chevron to operate in the country that allowed Venezuela to “sell” its oil to the U.S. via the gas company. For now, Chevron will be allowed to continue operations in Venezuela, and the country will continue to accept the White House’s deportation flights – though it’s not clear that the deal will hold, as Trump has ordered Chevron to slowly close up its business in the South American nation. 

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More Talks, More Strikes

• U.S. and Russian diplomats met in Saudi Arabia again yesterday to discuss a ceasefire between Russia and Ukraine. Both Kyiv and Moscow have agreed in principle to a partial ceasefire ending strikes on energy infrastructure, but the U.S. is still working out the terms of a wider agreement with both countries. As the talks were being held in Riyadh, a Russian airstrike hit Ukraine’s Sumy region, injuring dozens of civilians.
• China also kind of dipped its toe in the conflict yesterday, if only to let the world know that it doesn’t want to get involved at all. Responding to an apparently bogus report that China might station peacekeeping forces in a postwar Ukraine yesterday, a spokesman for China’s foreign ministry released a statement saying, “I would like to emphasize that the reports in question are completely untrue, and China’s position on the Ukraine crisis is consistent and clear.” Beijing has repeatedly emphasized that it won’t support either side in the conflict (though it has maintained close ties with Moscow).

What About Freedom Of Ha-Has?

• You know how to tell when you’ve perfected the art of comedy? No, it’s not when you sell out a stadium tour (sorry Kevin Hart). It’s when the police arrest you for making an especially piercing joke about a politician. Over the weekend, Indian comedian Kunal Kamra posted a clip of himself taunting Eknath Shinde, a top leader of Maharashtra state and an ally of Prime Minister Narendra Modi. 
• Soon after Kamra posted the clip, supporters of Shinde’s Shiv Sena party ransacked the studio where the clip was filmed, and police arrested the comedian on charges of “possible defamation.” Apparently, taunting Shinde with a silly song and calling him a traitor was enough to prompt the outsize response. One Shiv Sena party politician threatened that Kamra would be chased by his party across the country, adding, “You will be forced to flee India.” 

More Mixed Nuts

• South Korean court overturns impeachment of Prime Minister Han Duck-soo, reinstating him as acting president (CBS)
• Protests against Turkey’s President Erdogan, arrest of Istanbul Mayor Ekrem Imamoglu, see hundreds arrested (CBS)
• Austria says it has uncovered a Russian-steered campaign to spread disinformation (ABC)

New Phone, Hou This?

• We’ve all made the mistake of sending a text message in the wrong thread, though no matter how embarrassing your version of that tale as old as time is, this one is probably worse. Top Trump officials, including Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth and Vice President JD Vance, allegedly discussed the details of a highly sensitive operation to bomb Houthi targets in Yemen in a Signal group chat.
• “Why is that embarrassing?” Well, they accidentally included Jeffrey Goldberg, the editor-in-chief of The Atlantic, in the chat that included precise information about “weapons packages, targets, and timing” of the attack. When Trump was asked about the mishap, he said, “I don’t know anything about it. I’m not a big fan of The Atlantic. It’s, to me, it’s a magazine that’s going out of business. I think it’s not much of a magazine. But I know nothing about it.”

Khalil Can’t Catch A Break

• The Justice Department has filed new charges against pro-Palestine activist and Columbia University graduate student Mahmoud Khalil. Khalil, who is a green card holder, is accused of withholding information about his membership in the United Nations Relief and Works Agency for Palestine Refugees (UNRWA) as a political officer or that he was part of Columbia University Apartheid Divest.
• They’ve also accused Khalil of not disclosing his employment at the Syria Office in the British Embassy in Beirut, Lebanon, in his permanent residency application. The DOJ says this oversight is illegal, and, “Thus, Khalil’s First Amendment allegations are a red herring, and there is an independent basis to justify removal sufficient to foreclose Khalil’s constitutional claim here.” Khalil was detained by ICE on March 8. 

More Nuts In America 

• Trump taps his former defense attorney, Alina Habba, to be New Jersey’s top federal prosecutor (AP)
• US will breach debt ceiling between July and October unless Congress acts, forecasters warn (Politico)
• Man drives car into protesters outside a Tesla dealership, nobody hurt, sheriff says (AP)
• Trump to hold another Cabinet meeting with Elon Musk in attendance (NBC)

A Clearance Sale For Genes

• After paying to have their genetic data analyzed, it looks like 23andMe customers might see the most personal of their personal information sold off to keep the company above water. Yesterday, 23andMe filed for bankruptcy, announcing that CEO and co-founder Anne Wojcicki would be immediately stepping down and Chief Financial and Accounting Officer Joe Selsavage would be stepping up to take her place.
• The bankruptcy declaration has customers worried about their genetic data privacy – if 23andMe gets sold off to another firm, that firm would be able to access their literal genes, leveraging the information for profit. This is because the data that the company extracts isn’t protected by the regulations that surround normal health records, as it’s not technically classified as a healthcare entity.
• At its peak, 23andMe traded for over $300 per share, but it’s since bottomed out at 79 cents. Wojcicki, its CEO, has repeatedly attempted to buy out the company and take it off the public market, but her offers have been rejected multiple times. It looks like she’s willing to give it another try, though: “I have resigned as CEO of the company so I can be in the best position to pursue the company as an independent bidder,” she announced yesterday. Meanwhile, if you have used 23andMe’s services, it will comply with requests to delete your data – just submit a request via the website and confirm that you want your account wiped, and you can get rid of the possibility of your body being cloned whenever that technology comes around!

More Loose Nuts

• Tiger Woods confirms relationship with Vanessa Trump, president’s former daughter-in-law (NBC)
• Comedians roast Trump as Conan O’Brien honored at Kennedy Center (Guardian)
• Trump White House will put sponsor’s name on Easter Egg Roll for $200,000 (Guardian)
• Microsoft announces security AI agents to help overwhelmed humans (The Verge)

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Team Thoughts

Kayli – Oh, to be a journalist accidentally added to a government group chat. 

Marcus – I cannot believe that Jeffrey Goldberg, who calls himself a journalist, left that group chat of his own volition. He literally dropped the scoop of the year on purpose.