The Happiest Countries, How Tesla’s Doing, & A High Price For The Celtics
March 21, 2025
Hello, readers – happy Friday! Today, we’ll be talking about the happiest countries in the world, the Education Department, a new law in Indonesia, protests in Turkey, Elon Musk’s no good, very bad week, and the Boston Celtics’ sale.
Here’s some good news to hold you over throughout the weekend: Kirsty Coventry has been elected as the newest President of the International Olympic Committee (IOC), making her the first woman, the first African, and the youngest person ever to hold the position. Also, Miami Beach Mayor Steven Meiner withdrew his proposal to close down a local movie theater that screened “No Other Land,” the Oscar-winning documentary about the war between Israel and Hamas. In more good news, a Google-backed mission to detect wildfires from space launched a prototype satellite last week, which could give people much earlier warning than existing technology. Finally, Disney’s shareholders overwhelmingly rejected a proposal that would have seen it withdraw its participation in a benchmark index used to rank companies on how friendly their policies are to LGBTQ+ people.
“The breaking of a wave cannot explain the whole sea.” – Vladimir Nabokov
The Nordics Are On Cloud Nine

It’s been a week of complicated international deals, crucial court cases, and concerning deportations, so here’s a simpler story. Yesterday, the Wellbeing Research Centre at the University of Oxford published its annual World Happiness Report. According to the report, which asks people across the globe to assess their own happiness levels, Finland is the happiest country on Earth. Its Nordic neighbors – Denmark, Iceland, and Sweden – round out the top four happiest countries in that order, while the U.S. has slid to its lowest-ever position at 24 (down from 23 last year).
Increased health and wealth were associated with higher levels of happiness (it’s hard to be happy when you’re sick or can’t get food on the table), but some interesting factors are also related to feeling better: sharing meals with others, having a social support network, and household size. “Happiness isn’t just about wealth or growth — it’s about trust, connection and knowing people have your back,” said the CEO of Gallup, which contributed to the report. “If we want stronger communities and economies, we must invest in what truly matters: each other.” There’s a nice quote for your weekend.
The Miseducation On Capitol Hill
Now back to the chaos – yesterday, Trump signed an executive order that calls for the dismantling of the Department of Education. Republicans apparently view the agency as a stronghold of liberal ideology that drains federal funding. For some reason, the president brought some young children and, while sitting at those combo chair-desks you might remember from school, they also signed replicas of the order.
According to the order, Education Secretary Linda McMahon will, “to the maximum extent appropriate and permitted by law, take all necessary steps to facilitate the closure of the Department of Education and return authority over education to the States and local communities.” It’s unlikely that the department can be fully dismantled without an act of Congress, but Trump said it will be stripped down to its “core necessities” until more can be done.
Educators are fighting back, though. Yesterday, the American Federation of Teachers (AFT), which represents 1.8 million educators across the U.S., sued the Department of Education. The suit alleges that the agency’s move to shut down access to affordable student loan repayment plans equates to “effectively breaking” the entire student loan system – which violates federal law. “Borrowers have a legal right to payments they can afford and today we are demanding that these rights are enforced by a federal judge,” said the executive director of the Student Borrower Protection Center.
Slipping Back To Suharto

- As the U.S. continues to slide towards… whatever Trump’s final goal is, Indonesia is sliding backward towards the military dictatorship of the Suharto regime, according to some. During that period, the country’s Western-backed military government carried out mass murders of roughly one million local communists and their alleged sympathizers.
- Yesterday, Indonesia’s parliament passed controversial changes to current regulations that limit the military’s involvement in politics. Most importantly, military officers will be allowed to serve in government positions without having to retire from the armed forces. On top of this, military personnel will be allowed to hold positions in 14 civilian institutions (up from 10), and forced retirement ages for most ranks have also gone up. The changes were pushed through parliament with the support of President Prabowo Subianto, who happens to be Suharto’s son-in-law.
- “The essence of democracy is that the military should not engage in politics. The military should only manage barracks and national defence,” said one activist. “Since 1998, there has been a creeping murder of democracy. And today marks its peak. Democracy has been killed by the House of Representatives.”
What’s Up With The Turks
- After Istanbul Mayor Ekrem Imamoglu was arrested on Wednesday for alleged corruption and links to terror groups, Turkish citizens have been protesting for his release. Imamoglu is a popular figure in Turkey’s opposition Republican People’s Party (CHP) – his arrest, alongside the arrests of other opposition leaders, has voters worried about a crackdown on democracy under President Recep Tayyip Erdogan.
- Authorities have cracked down on protests with the usual tear gas and water cannons, but they’ve also been targeting online dissent. According to Interior Minister Ali Yerlikaya, the government had identified 261 X accounts posting “provocative” social media content about Imamoglu’s arrest – at least 37 alleged owners of those have been arrested themselves, and authorities are looking to arrest more.
More Mixed Nuts
- French academic denied entry to US for ‘personal opinion’ on Trump (Politico)
- Exiled Russian journalists left ‘high and dry’ after US cuts radio funding (Guardian)
- M23 rebels capture strategic mining hub of Walikale in eastern DRC (Guardian)
- As security fears grip Europe, France plans to distribute a ‘survival guide’ to households (NBC)
- Researchers name six countries as likely customers of Paragon’s spyware (TechCrunch)
Middle East Mixed Nuts
- Israel expands its ground offensive in Gaza as Hamas fires rockets back (NPR)
- Thousands protest in Israel over ‘attack on democracy’ by Netanyahu (Guardian)
- Houthi missile fired at Israel intercepted as fresh air strikes hit Gaza (BBC)
- U.N. staffer killed and 5 others wounded in a strike in the Gaza Strip (NBC)
- Gaza trauma surgeon says half of patients injured in Israeli strikes were children (ABC)
- Israel threatens Gaza’s residents with “complete destruction” if Hamas doesn’t hand over hostages (CBS)
Money Talks, Tesla Crashes
- As billionaire Elon Musk continues to instruct his DOGE agency to fire thousands of employees in an attempt to “cut costs,” one of his companies is bearing the brunt of the backlash. On Tuesday, a Tesla collision center in Las Vegas had several vehicles set on fire and the word “Resist” spray-painted on the building. That same day, “Cyber Trucks at a Tesla Dealership in south Kansas City were damaged,” according to local law enforcement.
- On Wednesday, FBI deputy director Dan Bongino said the bureau was investigating attacks targeting Tesla vehicles and dealerships and swatting incidents, and yesterday, U.S. Attorney General Pam Bondi announced charges against three people. One was arrested for throwing “approximately eight Molotov cocktails at a Tesla dealership located in Salem, Oregon,” another was arrested in Loveland, Colorado, for “attempting to light Teslas on fire with Molotov cocktails,” and the third defendant “wrote profane messages against President Trump around Tesla charging stations before lighting the charging stations on fire with Molotov cocktails” in Charleston, South Carolina. Molotov cocktails are a hot commodity, apparently.
- That’s not where Elon’s woes end, though. Tesla shares fell early yesterday morning even after Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick said on Fox News, “I think, if you want to learn something on this show tonight, buy Tesla.” The company’s stock is down 5% in the last five days, 35% in the last month, and 42% so far this year. Oh, also, Vivian Jenna Wilson, Elon’s eldest child, said of the billionaire’s now-infamous hand gesture on Inauguration Day, “That s**t was definitely a Nazi salute.”
More Nuts In America
- American man held by Taliban for over 2 years released, the State Department says (ABC)
- Blizzard conditions hit the Midwest while wildfires and tornadoes threaten Central US (AP)
- FBI agent who accused agency of political bias arrested at New York airport (Guardian)
- Minnesota jury convicts alleged ringleader of massive pandemic food fraud scheme on all counts (AP)
- Republican lawmaker booed during rowdy town hall after complaining crowd is ‘obsessed’ with the government (NBC)
Big Green In Boston
- It’s been a relatively quiet couple of weeks in the world of sports. The Super Bowl is in the rearview mirror, the MLB season hasn’t kicked off yet, and March Madness just began yesterday. Luckily, the NBA is here to fill in the gaps. Yesterday, the reigning champion Boston Celtics were sold for a whopping $6.1 billion, marking the highest-ever price paid for an American sports franchise (the Washington Commanders, which were sold for $6.05 billion in 2023, were the previous record holders).
- The deal will see a group of investors, led by private equity investor William Chisholm, purchase 51% of the Celtics. Current owners will be given the option to keep their portions of the franchise until 2028, at which point they could be sold for a price up to 20% more than current valuations depending on the growth of the league – at maximum, the Celtics could end up being sold for $7.8 billion.
- “Growing up on the North Shore and attending college in New England, I have been a die-hard Celtics fan my entire life,” Chisholm said in a statement after the deal was announced. “I understand how important the Celtics are to the city of Boston…I also understand that there is a responsibility as a leader of the organization to the people of Boston, and I am up for this challenge.” The current ownership group bought its majority of the team for $360 million in 2002 – talk about a good investment!
More Loose Nuts
- OpenAI upgrades its transcription and voice-generating AI models (TechCrunch)
- A Texas robotics company gets approval to search for MH370 in a new part of the Indian Ocean (AP)
- Dark energy is weakening and the universe could (eventually) collapse, study says (NPR)
- AI-driven weather prediction breakthrough reported (Guardian)
- Trump’s Battles With Colleges Could Change American Culture for a Generation (NYT, $)
Team Thoughts
Kayli – Does anyone else think it’s a big red flag that Elon Musk’s kids mostly hate him?
Marcus – The Warriors are worth like $9 billion so suck on that, Celtics. Sorry, I just hate this team.