Calais Is Shutting Down While Clinton Is Winding Up

PNUT GALLERY

Contrary to what you might have read, the Great Barrier Reef isn’t dead. But maybe saying it’s dead was a strategy to save it.  

 IN A NUTSHELL: MUST READ

 Calais: You Don’t Have To Go Home But You Can’t Stay Here

About 2,000 people have been bussed out of the “Calais Jungle,” the squalid refugee camp that has housed some 7,000 people trying to make their way to the UK from France. The full dismantling of the camp is expected to start today, but already, migrants are lining up to leave. Despite complaints that the refugees have not been given enough information on where they will be shipped and that over one thousand unaccompanied minors still need to be transferred, the mass exodus has been relatively calm and straightforward.

So, where are they going?

Most of the people once living in Calais will be relocated to one of France’s 45 housing centers across the country. Though there isn’t much choice or clarity as to who goes where, people will either wind up in Auvergne-Rhone-Alpes, Bourgogne-Franche-Comte, Brittany, Pays de la Loire, Poitou-Charentes, Grand Est or Nouvelle Aquitaine, but none of these places are the UK, which is the ultimate destination many of the migrants are still seeking. The United Kingdom is mostly accepting children at this point and brought in 200 minors from the camp under the “Dubs” amendment. Yet, there are still several hundred unaccompanied kids in the camp who were expected to be brought to England before the Calais demolitions began. Yesterday, the French government halted the transferring of 1,300 children from the camp due to procedural issues.

South Park Blames Canada, But Canada Blames Belgium

A landmark trade treaty between the EU and Canada fell apart on Monday due to objections from one of the many parties involved. While it’s popular to blame Canada (or Obama) when things go wrong, it wasn’t their fault this time. The Belgian region of Wallonia, which aside from sounding like a Game of Thrones Kingdom is also a socialist, anti-free trade region, rejected the deal. Now you might be wondering why the Walloons can hold up a free trade agreement. It’s because Belgium can’t approve it without them. Belgium has a unique “three-legged race” approach to governance, requiring Wallonia, Flanders, the German Community and the Federal Government to approve any important legislation. This unique style has led to wonderful gems like going 589 days without a government and general ineptness in the war on terror. Luckily, it hasn’t impacted their chocolate making abilities.

 NUTS AND BOLTS: SHOULD READ

 #pnut4prez: The Beginning Of The End (Hopefully)

Early voting is now open in Florida and a few unimportant states (thanks Electoral College!) so we can now see a light at the end of the tunnel. With just two weeks until the elections, Donald Trump is singing a new tune, no longer confident that he’s leading in the polls. Since Hillary Clinton is now leading by 5 points, Trump is citing the poll numbers as yet further proof that the system is rigged. Clinton leads with 49%, followed by Trump at 44%, with Gary Johnson and Jill Stein at 3% and 2% respectively.

Hillary Clinton is already looking beyond Trump and is getting her ducks in a row for the Presidency. She’s reportedly assembled a task force for transition planning, put together some of her White House team already and is helping Democratic candidates with their campaigns to take back the Senate. Not-yet-lame duck President Obama is also in on the plans, endorsing 150 state legislative candidates. It’s an unprecedented move into down-ballot races for POTUS, but part of a general effort to take back GOP-controlled state legislatures across the country. He’s just trying to make the place cozy for the next gal.

Philippine Senator Calls On ICC To Investigate Duterte For Doing What He Said He Would Do

Philippine Presdient Rodrigo Duterte is not carrying out a war on drugs so much as it is a war on his own citizens, and now one of his harshest critics thinks the international community should step in. Philippine Senator Leila de Lema called on the International Criminal Court to investigate after thousands of civilians have been killed by police or unidentified assassins. Given that Duterte has said he would be “happy to slaughter” Filipino drug dealers, we can safely assume the investigation wouldn’t take too long. But it’s unclear how Duterte would respond to an international investigation, given that he clearly does not care what anyone in the world thinks of him, other than his friends in China and Russia.

SNAPSHOT: Duterte’s Version Of ‘Drug Rehab’ Is…Different

Just In Time For Halloween: Scary Tales Of Carbon Emissions

Here’s an unsettling climate story to tell around the campfire (or maybe don’t): the World Meteorological Organization announced that CO2 levels have exceeded the 400ppm mark for a full year. To give some perspective, most scientists cautioned that exceeding 350ppm would already mean very bad news. The spike has been in part justified by this year’s strong El Nino, however, we would be remiss not to mention that the spike in atmospheric CO2 has been going on since the industrial revolution. Oh, and other greenhouse gases have been increasing too. All in all, we have fewer trees, warmer oceans, more people consuming and increasingly more accurate ways of measuring the damage that is being done. Scientists are hoping strict enforcement and quick implementation of the Paris Agreement will help control the problem. However, with the rather ambitious target of keeping warming at 2 degrees Celsius, it is difficult to share their optimism.

In a Nutshell: What is the Paris Agreement?

 KEEPING OUR EYE ON

 Tom Hayden: The infamous radical-turned-politician died at age 76. Hayden was an anti-war activist who was part of the “Chicago Seven” trial. He was married to Jane Fonda for 17 years, during which time he won election to the California assembly and senate. Although denounced as a “traitor” for his anti-Vietnam activism, he went on to serve in the government for almost two decades as a progressive force.

AT&T: Wall Street was clearly skeptical of AT&T’s $85.4 billion deal to buy Time Warner Inc. Shares of AT&T fell 1.7% while shares for Time Warner dropped 3.1%.

Bobby Vee: The teen idol from the 1960s passed away at age 73 after battling Alzheimer’s disease. Vee was known for his pop hits “Take Good Care of My Baby” and “Run to Him.”

 PNUTTY VIDEOS

John Oliver compared Donald Trump to the Catholic Church and he wasn’t wrong.

The best SNL skit was not about the election, it was a skit called “Black Jeopardy.”

Don’t look now, but scientists think they may have solved the mystery of the Bermuda Triangle. We’re skeptical.

 PNUT PATRONS

There’s so much going on in the world. Help us help you keep up.

 LOOSE NUTS: FOR YOUR ENJOYMENT

 Guy Who Accused A Donkey Of Homosexuality And Rape To Run For UKIP Leader

It feels like the pickings are slim over at UKIP, these days. John Rees-Evans, who first came to prominence in 2014 after he claimed a “homosexual donkey” raped his horse, is now a UKIP parliamentary candidate. Rees-Evans’ controversial remarks came after a protestor asked about a colleague’s stance that “some homosexuals prefer sex with animals.” Rees-Evans defended his colleague, explaining to the protestors that he once saw a gay donkey “rape” a horse whose sexual orientation was unknown. Rees-Evans has since had to apologize for his remarks, which were simultaneously vulgar and irrelevant. He is now running to become the leader of his party, where he pledges to unite UKIP to “direct all that aggression towards the enemy.” Luckily for him, donkeys don’t vote.